If you had to choose a question that usually comes to mind recurrently in the most difficult and complicated moments of our existence, for me it would be none other than the mystery that begins with a “why?” .
If you've decided to start reading this article, it was probably motivated by the interest sparked by the question at hand. Well, this reflection is especially important for you.
Search for answers about everything
Why did this happen to me? Why did he leave? Why doesn't he love me? Why can't I get him? Why do I fall into the same trap? Why don't people like me? Why is the world like this? Why do people behave this way? Why why why….?
As a defense mechanism, we try to understand in a more or less logical way , more or less fair, more or less rational, a world that often has little logic, fairness, or rationality. But as with a bureaucratic request, it's difficult to skip this first step of the process. The phase in which we understand unequivocally that something is failing, not going as expected, or simply is, and there's no choice but to accept it, however absurd it may seem.
This is the case of children who, having everything, don't know how to appreciate anything and who, faced with any daily setback, are unable to overcome the resulting level of frustration. Or those couples who seem perfect overnight, leave us perplexed with their incomprehensible gap. There's also the reason why those who are young, beautiful, and slender are also insecure, weak-hearted, or conformist. Or the reason why the talented young person continually wastes their talent, preferring other channels to guide their destiny.
There's also the reason why the boss likes to surround himself with subjects rather than critics, for the greater glory of his ego in the face of his company's success. Or why the one who, enjoying countless strengths, fears the worst omens that may never arise, in a multitude of areas of his existence... and before all of them, something even deeper and incomprehensible can be lifted on par, why my why
Get out of the vicious circle of thinking
Following the usual script of a literary article, now would be the right time to offer pertinent answers to the questions posed, but I am very much afraid that, for whom I expected such a thing at this moment, I have begun to feel a certain sense of disappointment as I advance along these lines.
In fact, I don't have one answer unique, genuine or original that can offer an answer to the innumerable list of "whys" raised so far, and even if I do, I doubt it can offer peace or satisfaction to anyone who harbors such expectations. If that's the case for you, you might want to sharpen your senses and pay even closer attention, if possible, to what follows this paragraph.
- You may be interested in: "How do we think? Daniel Kahneman's two systems of thought"
Go beyond the reasons
When we ask why, we begin a journey. A journey that takes us back to our past. We repeatedly replay the horror film that led us to consider the need to find an explanation Unfortunately, when things are going well, few consider the "why," and if they do, they don't. They often spend a lot of time preparing the relevant analyses.
My question to the first would be, what do you hope to find there, in the past, that you haven't yet found? This figurative journey into the past, into what we were, did, or lost, will only justify, or put another way, excuse, our current behavior, irrevocably condemning us to repeat our fateful destiny over and over again, by the immobility that happens to this kind of analysis.
If what we want is to leave an episode behind, overcome a limitation, grow, move forward and develop, we cannot be content with an explanation, with a “why” We will have to seek arguments for change, motivations, and illusions that implement new actions, which in turn can produce new results, because if we are aware of anything, it is that where these "whys" take us is not where we want to go.