- Ukuzethemba kuvela ekusebenzisaneni komzimba, izinkolelo, imizwa, izenzo, kanye nendawo ezungezile, futhi kungaqeqeshwa kunoma yisiphi isigaba sokuphila.
- Ukubuza imibuzo ngamalebula nemicabango emibi, ukwazisa impumelelo encane, kanye nokuhlonipha izibopho zakho kuqinisa ukulondeka kwangaphakathi.
- Ukunakekela ukuma komuntu, ingxoxo yangaphakathi, ubudlelwano, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kweqembu kudala umjikelezo omuhle ogcina ukwethembana isikhathi eside.
Uke waqaphela ukuthi ukuzethemba kungashintsha kanjani ngokuphelele indlela owenza ngayo izinto, owenza ngayo izinqumo, futhi oxhumana ngayo nabanye? Ukuzethemba akusona isipho esimangalisayo abanye abantu abasithola lapho bezalwa; kuyisethi yezipho imikhuba yengqondo, yemizwa kanye neyokuziphatha Lokho okwakhiwa usuku nosuku. Uma kulahleka, konke kuba nzima kakhulu: ukungabaza kuyanda, ukwesaba kuyakhula, namathuba adlula ngaphandle kokuthi senze okuthile.
Kuyo yonke le ndatshana, uzothola umbono ophelele, ojulile, futhi osebenzayo wokuthi ungaqala kanjani ngokuzethemba noma iyiphi indawo yokuphila. ukuhlanganisa amasu avela kwi-psychology, ukuqeqesha, i-positive psychology kanye nentuthuko yomuntu siqu. Sizoxoxa ngokuthi kuyini ukuzethemba, ubudlelwano bakho nokuzethemba, ukuthi umzimba, imicabango, imizwa, kanye nendawo okuzungezile kubumba kanjani ukuvikeleka kwakho kwangaphakathi, futhi sizophinde sinikeze amandla kanye nokuzivocavoca komuntu ngamunye kanye neqembu ukuze siqinise ngempela leli khono.
Kuyini ukuzethemba futhi kungani kubaluleke kangaka?
Ukuzethemba umuzwa wangaphakathi wokuthi uyakwazi ukubhekana nanoma yini eyenzeka empilweni yakho. ngisho noma ekhathazekile, ngisho noma Umphumela awuqinisekile.Akukhona ukuzikhukhumeza, noma ukucabanga ukuthi ungcono kunabanye; kuwukuqiniseka okuthulile kwekhono lomuntu siqu: "Ngingase ngingazi konke, kodwa ngingafunda, ngizame, ngilungise, futhi ngiqhubekele phambili."
Izifundo ze-neuropsychology zibonisa ukuthi ukuzethemba kuhlobene ngqo nempumelelo yomuntu siqu neyomsebenzi. Ngaphezu kokusebenza njengento evikela izifo zengqondo ezahlukahlukene ngisho nokwehla kwengqondo ezigabeni zakamuva zokuphila, abantu abanomqondo oqinile wamakhono bavame ukuzibandakanya kakhulu, baphikelele kakhulu, futhi bayeke kancane, bethonywe... izinhlobo ezahlukene zesisusa.
Uma ukuzethemba kuphansi, imicabango emibi neyokungabi nathemba iqala ukusebenza, okusheshisa ukukhathala ngokomzwelo. Zandisa ingozi yokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka futhi zingase zithonye nokuqhubeka kwezifo zengqondo. Kufana nokuhlala nomuntu ohlala egxeka ingqondo, ekutshela ukuthi akukho okwenzayo okwanele.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhlakulela ukuzethemba kufana nokwakha isisekelo sangaphakathi sokulondeka. Lokhu kuvumela umuntu ukuthi athathe izingozi, afunde emaphutheni, aqhubeke nemiklamo yesikhathi eside, futhi alondoloze ugqozi ngisho noma izinto zingahambi njengoba bekulindelekile. Labo abakholelwa kubo bavame ukuthatha izingozi eziningi futhi, ngenxa yaleso sizathu, bakha okuhlangenwe nakho okuwinayo okwengeziwe - okuqinisa ukuzethemba kwabo.
Ukuzethemba, ukuzethemba, kanye nokuvikeleka kwangaphakathi: ukuthi konke kuxhumana kanjani.
Ukuzethemba kanye nokuzethemba kuyahambisana, kodwa akuzona izinto ezifanayo ncamashi. Ukuzethemba yinani ozibeka lona njengomuntu ("ngiyakufanelekela?"), kuyilapho ukuzethemba kuhlobene kakhulu nokuqonda amakhono akho ("ngingakwenza?"). Uma elinye linyakaziswa, elinye livame ukuhlupheka.
Abantu abaningi bazama ukuvala ukuzethemba kwabo kanye nokungazethembi ngokubukisa abanye ngemiphumela, impumelelo, noma izinto ezibonakalayo. njengokungathi ukuqashelwa kwangaphandle kungagcwalisa isikhala sangaphakathi. Inkinga ukuthi ukudunyiswa okuvela ngaphandle akulokothi kusekele isikhathi eside isakhiwo esibuthakathaka ngaphakathi. Lolu hlobo lokuziphatha lungaqondwa njengohlobo lwe- ukuzethemba okungamanga.
Ukwakha ukuzethemba kudinga ukufunda ukwazisa ukunqoba okuncane kokuphila kwansuku zonke, hhayi nje impumelelo enkulu. Ngoba kusezinyathelweni ezincane lapho ubuchopho bubhala khona ngokuphindaphindiwe: "Ngingakwazi ukukusingatha, ngingakwenza." Kungumsebenzi oyisisekelo, kusukela ngaphakathi kuya ngaphandle, oqala kokulula uye kokunzima, hhayi okuphambene nalokho.
Esinye sezithiyo ezinkulu ukuthi, ngokwesiko, sifundiswe kakhulu ngesijeziso kunokuqiniswa okuhle. ekhaya nasesikoleni. Lapho kugqanyiswa amaphutha kuphela futhi impumelelo ingaqashelwa, umuntu ukhula ngaphandle kokubhekisela ngqo emandleni akhe, abe yizimfuno ezinkulu kuye, futhi abe nobunzima bokuthemba amakhono akhe.
Ukwephula lo mjikelezo kuhilela ukushintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo ngokwengqondo: esikhundleni sokuphinda amalebula nokugxeka, Kuyadingeka ukuthuthukisa umbono ongokoqobo, owamukelayo, nogxile ekufundeni. Lokhu akukhona "ukuphulula abantu ekhanda," kumayelana nokulungisa ilensi ukuze ubone ukuthi ungubani ngeqiniso eliningi futhi ungabonisi ubuciko.
Indlela izinkolelo kanye “nezwi langaphakathi” elikuthinta ngayo ukuzethemba kwakho.
Ngemuva kwanoma yiluphi udaba lokuthembana, cishe njalo kukhona inkolelo elinganiselwe eqhubeka ngemuva. Izitatimende ezinjengokuthi "Angilungile ngokwanele," "Ngihlala ngihluleka," kanye nokuthi "abanye baqiniseka kakhulu kunami ngokwemvelo" zingase zibonakale njengamaqiniso, kodwa empeleni ziyizincazelo owaziqonda kudala futhi awuzange uphinde uzibuze. Ukuqonda nokusebenza ngalezi... ukukhawulela izinkolelo iyisisekelo.
Ubuchopho buvame ukukholelwa kalula lokho okuphindayo ngezwi lakho. Ngisho noma kungafaneleki kuwe. Uma uzibiza ngokuthi “uyisiwula,” “ongenamsebenzi,” noma “inhlekelele,” ugcina ukwamukela lawo mazwi njengamaqiniso aphelele, ungawanaki bonke ubufakazi obuphikisanayo.
Isinyathelo esibalulekile sokuqala ngokuzethemba ukufunda ukuphikisana ngalelo "zwi" elingaphakathi elibucayi. Ukubuza, isibonelo: "Ingabe lokhu kuyiqiniso ngempela?", "Nginqume nini lokhu ngami?", "Uma ngingasakholwa yile ndaba, bengizokwenzenjani ngendlela ehlukile namuhla?".
Futhi kusiza kakhulu ukufaka esikhundleni amalebula omhlaba wonke ngezincazelo eziqondile nezingokwesimo. Indlela yokushintsha kusuka kokuthi “Ngingumuntu onamahloni” kuya kokuthi “ngezinye izikhathi ngiyakhululeka” noma kusuka kokuthi “Nginamahloni” kuya kokuthi “ezindaweni ezintsha ngithule ekuqaleni.” Lolu shintsho olimini luvula isikhala somqondo wokuthi ungenza ngendlela ehlukile, esikhundleni sokulahlwa esikhundleni esithile.
Umjikelezo wokwethembana: umzimba, izinkolelo, isenzo, kanye nendawo ezungezile.
Ukuze ukwethembana kuyeke ukuba yinto engahleliwe futhi kube yinto ebikezelwayo, kuyasiza ukukubheka njengomjikelezo. lapho izakhi eziningana ziphinde zihlangane: i-physiology (umzimba), izinkolelo, isenzo, ukuzethemba, kanye nendawo ezungezile. Uma lezi zingxenye zihambisana, ukuphepha kuyakhula; lapho enye yazo iphuka, ukuzethemba kuyawa.
Labo abazizwa beqiniseka bavame ukunakekela izindawo ezine eziyinhloko, ngisho noma bengaqapheli: Sebenzisa umzimba wakho ukuze uzuze, hlakulela izinkolelo ezingokoqobo nezinika amandla, yenza noma ngabe wesaba, futhi uzungeze abantu nezimo ezisekela ukukhula kwakho. Lokhu kudala isibopho esihle lapho ulwazi ngalunye olusha oluphumelelayo luqinisa khona umuzwa wekhono.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma unganyakazi kakhulu, zondla imicabango yokuzidela, gwema izinselele, futhi uhlale ezindaweni ezinobuthi, Ubuchopho buthola izimpawu eziqhubekayo zokuthi akuphephile ukuzama – futhi ukuzethemba kuhlala kuhlala kusesigabeni sokuhlela, hhayi ekusebenzeni.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi awudingi "ukunakekela konke" ngesikhathi esisodwa; vele uqale endaweni eyodwa kulo mjikelezo bese uvumela umphumela we-ripple wenzeke. Isibonelo, ngokushintsha umzimba kuqala, bese kuba ukungabaza izinkolelo, bese uzama izenzo ezincane, ezahlukene, futhi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, wenze izinqumo ezingcono mayelana nezimo umuntu azibeka kuzo.
Umzimba njengesiqalo: ukuzethemba kuqala nge-physiology.
Ngaphambi kokuba kube umcabango, ukwethemba kuyinto eyenzeka ngokomzimba. Isimiso sakho sezinzwa sinquma ukuthi uphephile noma usongelwa isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba ukwazi ukuchaza ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Yingakho, lapho umzimba ukhathele, ucindezelekile, noma ugobile, ingqondo iqala ngokuzenzakalelayo ukufuna izingozi nobunzima.
Ukuma, ukuphefumula, kanye nokunyakaza kuxhumana nobuchopho kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usukulungele ukuthatha isinyathelo noma usukulungele ukufihla. Futhi lokhu kusebenza kokubili esethulweni emsebenzini nasekukhulumeni nomuntu omthandayo. Umzimba oqinile, ophefumula kahle, uthumela umyalezo othi: "Sikulungele."
Ezinye izinguquko ezilula zingashintsha ngokushesha isimo sangaphakathi salo: Phefumula umoya ojulile ngekhala lakho, gcina umgogodla wakho uqondile namahlombe avulekile, beka izinyawo zakho phansi ngokuqinile, hamba ngesinyathelo esiqinile esikhundleni sokuhambahamba, bese ubheka phambili esikhundleni sokuhlala ubheka phansi.
Le mininingwane ayiyona "indlela yokuma engenalutho"; iyizimpawu eziqondile ezilawula uhlelo lwezinzwa futhi zilethe imizwa ezingeni elizinzile. kusiza ekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka kanye nemizwa yokungabi namandla. Ezimweni ezicindezelayo, ukuthuthukisa umkhuba wokulungisa umzimba kuqala bese wenza okuthile kungenza umehluko omkhulu.
Ukuphathwa kwemicabango: ukushintsha indaba ozitshela yona
Ngale kwesici somzimba, indlela ochaza ngayo okwenzekayo ibumba ngqo ukuzethemba kwakho. Ngoba imicabango ephindaphindwayo iba yizindaba, kanti izindaba ziba ubunikazi. Uma indaba yangaphakathi ihlala ithi "Ngihlala ngiyiphutha," uqala ukwenza njengomuntu olindele ukwehluleka.
Iphuzu elilodwa elibalulekile okufanele uliqaphele ukuthambekela kokusebenzisa amagama aqatha njengokuthi “njalo,” “akukaze,” “konke,” kanye nokuthi “akukho lutho.” okuguqula isimo esithile sibe umusho oqondile: "Ngihlala ngichitha yonke into," "Angikaze ngithole lutho olufanele," "akukho lutho olungisebenzelayo." Lokhu kweqisa kuphazamisa iqiniso futhi kuvuselele imizwa yokungafaneleki.
Ukusebenza ngokuzethemba kuhilela ukubuka le ngxoxo yangaphakathi bese uyishintsha ngemicabango eqondile newusizo. njengokuthi "Ngisenenkinga kule ndawo, kodwa ngingathuthuka uma ngizijwayeza," noma "Kulokhu akuhambanga ngendlela ebengifuna ngayo, yini engingayifundela esikhathini esizayo?"
Elinye isu elinamandla ukufaka iziqinisekiso ezinhle ezingokoqobo osukwini lwakho. Ukufaka esikhundleni semisho efana nokuthi “Ngeke ngikwazi ukukwenza” ngokuthi “Ngizolungiselela ngangokunokwenzeka futhi ngibone ukuthi kuzokwenzekani,” noma “Angifanele” ngokuthi “Nginezindawo okufanele ngizithuthukise, kodwa futhi nginezimfanelo ezingisizile kwezinye izimo.”
Kusukela kumbono kuya ekusebenzeni: kungani isenzo siza ngaphambi kokuzizwa ulungile.
Esinye sezingibe ezinkulu ukukholelwa ukuthi udinga ukuzethemba ukuze uthathe isinyathelo. Eqinisweni, ukuzethemba cishe njalo kuwumphumela wesenzo, akuyona into edingekayo. Uzizwa uqiniseka kuphela ngokushayela ngemva kwamahora amaningi ushayela; ukhuluma esidlangalaleni ngendlela engokwemvelo ngemva kokudlula ezintshumayelweni zangempela.
Njalo uma ubhekene nento eyesabekayo - bese usinda - ubuchopho buyaphendula: "Ngingakwazi ukubhekana nalokhu". Futhi le ndlela ephindaphindwayo iphinda ibhale kabusha ubuwena babo, ibashintshe ekubeni umuntu ogwema izingozi ibe umuntu owamukela izinselele.
Imfihlo iwukuqala ngezenzo ezidinga umzamo omncane kuwe, kodwa hhayi kakhulu kangangokuthi zikukhubaze. Indlela yokunikeza umbono wakho emhlanganweni omncane, ukushayela ucingo esikhundleni sokuhlala uthumela imiyalezo, ukusungula umngcele onempilo nomuntu oseduze nawe, noma ukubhalisela umsebenzi okunika ama-butterflies esiswini sakho kodwa futhi ovusa ilukuluku.
Njengoba lezi zinyathelo ezincane ziqongelela, ukuzethemba kuyayeka ukuba yinkulumo ekhuthazayo futhi kuba umuzwa oqondile. Kusekelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwangempela kokunqoba izinselele – okuhlanganisa nezimo lapho izinto zingahambanga kahle khona, kodwa uqhubekele phambili noma kunjalo.
Ukuzethemba njengokuthi "ukwenza lokho okuthembisile wena"
Ukuzethemba kufana kakhulu nokuthemba noma ubani omunye: kuncike ekungaguquguquki. Zonke izibopho ozibophezele zona futhi ozigcinayo (“Ngizofunda namuhla,” “Ngizohamba imizuzu engama-20,” “Ngizolala kusenesikhathi”) ziqinisa isibopho sangaphakathi; zonke izithembiso eziphukile, kancane kancane, ziyaqeda lokho kuthembana.
Uma uthi ngokuphindaphindiwe uzokwenza okuthile bese ungakwenzi, ubuchopho bakho buyafunda ukuthi izwi lakho alibalulekile kangako. Futhi lokhu kuhumusha ukungabaza okwengeziwe, ukuzindela okwengeziwe, kanye namandla amancane ngokomzwelo. Yilokho ochwepheshe abaningi abakubiza ngokuthi "ukuphelelwa amandla ngokomzwelo": umuzwa wokuthi ibhethri lakho langaphakathi lihlala liphansi.
Ngakho-ke, ukuqinisa ukuzethemba akudingi izinguquko ezinkulu, kodwa ubuqotho ezintweni ezincane. Indlela yokuqeda lokho okuqalile, ukuhlonipha izinsuku ozibekele zona, ukuhlonipha izindinganiso zakho noma ngabe kulula ukuhambisana nesikhathi.
Umkhuba olula ukunciphisa inani lezithembiso ozenzela zona nokwandisa izinga ozigcina ngalo. Ngokukhetha imigomo enengqondo kakhudlwana, ukuhlela kangcono isimiso sakho, kanye nokuthi "cha" kulokho owaziyo ukuthi ngeke ukwazi ukukwamukela, lapho izenzo zakho zihambisana kakhulu namazwi akho, ukuzethemba kwakho kuba kukhulu.
Ukuzazi nokwamukela: isisekelo semizwa sokulondeka.
Uma uzazi kangcono, kuba lula ukwethemba izinqumo zakho, imingcele, nezidingo zakho. Ngoba ukuzethemba akuxhomekile nje kuphela ekhonweni lobuchwepheshe, kodwa futhi nasekucaciseni ukuthi ungubani, ukuthi ufunani, ukuthi yini oyithandayo, nokuthi yini ongafuni ukuyekethisa kuyo.
Abantu abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi bazazi kahle, kodwa abavamile ukuyeka ukuze bahlole ngempela izisusa zabo, ukwesaba kwabo, kanye nezinto abazithandayo. Ukudideka okuyiqiniso nalokho okuye kwabekwa ngumndeni, isiko, noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule. Ngaphandle kwalokhu kucaca, noma yikuphi ukugxekwa kwangaphandle kushukumisa umongo.
Kanye nokuzazi kuza nokwamukelwa: ukuqaphela izimfanelo, ukulinganiselwa, amaphutha esikhathi esidlule, kanye nezibazi ezingokomzwelo. Ukuqonda ukuthi ukuzizwa ungazethembi ngezikhathi ezithile empilweni kungokwemvelo futhi akufakazeli ukuthi ubuthakathaka noma "unephutha."
Ukwamukela akukhona ukuzidela, kodwa kunalokho ukuqala esithombeni esiqotho sokuthi ungubani namuhla ukuze ukhule kusukela lapho. ngaphandle kokucasha ngemuva kwezifihla-buso noma ukuphila uzama ukulingana namaphethini angahambisani neqiniso lawo.
Ukuzethemba, amalebula, kanye nendlela ozichaza ngayo.
Abantu abangazethembi bavame ukuba nokuzethemba okubuthakathaka, okugcwele amagama anokhahlo, asemhlabeni wonke anjengokuthi "Ngiyisiwula," "Ngimubi," "Ngiyisehluleki," Njengokungathi lezi zincazelo ezimbi zingaba yinkinga eyinkimbinkimbi umuntu anayo.
Lawa malebula asebenza njengezithombe ezihlekisayo: athatha isici, asikhulise ngangokunokwenzeka, bese esula okusele. Njengoba nje umuntu odweba izithombe ezihlekisayo egcizelela izindlebe ezinkulu noma isilevu esicijile. Akekho obukeka kahle uma edweba izithombe ezihlekisayo, ngoba nje ugcizelela isici esisodwa futhi angasinaki isithombe sonke.
Ukufaka igama elithi "to be" esikhundleni salo elithi "to be located" kula malebula amaningi kakade kwenza umehluko. Isibonelo, ukufaka esikhundleni sokuthi “Angikwazi” ngokuthi “kwezinye izimo angikakulungeli” noma “Nginamahloni” ngokuthi “kwezinye izimo ngiyazihlukanisa.” Lokhu kubuyisela ukunyakaza ekubeni ngumuntu futhi kuvumela ushintsho.
Ukusebenzela ukuzethemba, kulo mongo, kusho ukufunda ukukhuluma nawe ngendlela enesihawu nengakhethi. Ukuqinisa amakhono akho, ukwazisa impumelelo yakho (ngisho nezincane), nokuyeka umqondo wokuthi ukuzigxeka njalo yikona okuzoqhubekisela phambili ukukhula kwakho.
Amandla akho: ukuthola ukuthi yini okwaziyo ngempela ukuyenza.
Akekho omuhle kukho konke, kodwa wonke umuntu unezindawo azenza kahle kuzo ngokwemvelo, kungaba ngenxa yekhono noma isithakazelo esizenzakalelayo. Futhi kukulezindawo eziqinile lapho ukuzethemba kuthola khona amandla aqinile.
Ukubheka emuva bese ubhala phansi izimo lapho uphumelele khona – hhayi nje impumelelo enkulu, kodwa nezikhathi ezazibalulekile kuwe – Kuyasiza ukuhlonza izimfanelo ezazivele zikhona: ukuphikelela, isibindi, ukuzwela, ukuhleleka, ubuhlakani, ikhono lokunakekela abanye, phakathi kwezinye eziningi.
Uma la mandla ebonakala, ungawasebenzisa ngamabomu kaningi. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi usemsebenzini, ezifundweni, ebudlelwaneni, noma kumaphrojekthi amasha, okudala okuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe lapho kuqinisekiswa khona ekusebenzeni.
I-psychology enhle isebenza kahle ngalokhu kugxila emandleni omuntu siqu. okubonisa ukuthi ukutshala amandla kulokho okwenza kahle (ngaphandle kokungazinaki izindawo zokuthuthukisa) kuvame ukukhiqiza ukuzibandakanya okwengeziwe, umuzwa wokuba nekhono, kanye nokwaneliseka empilweni.
Ukuqhathanisa, izinkundla zokuxhumana, kanye nobuthi bokuzilinganisa nabanye.
Ukuziqhathanisa nabanye kuyinto yobuntu, kodwa indlela okwenzayo ngayo ingakha noma ibhubhise ukuzethemba kwakho. Ikakhulukazi enkathini yezinkundla zokuxhumana, lapho wonke umuntu ebonisa khona izikhathi ezinhle kakhulu futhi efihla izithombe ezingemuva kwesigcawu, amaphutha, kanye nobuthakathaka.
Uma uzilinganisa kuphela ngezinto ezivelele ekuphileni kwabanye abantu, cishe uzozizwa ungelutho. Ngoba uqhathanisa inguqulo yakho ephelele, enamaphutha nokungabaza, "nendlela engcono kakhulu" yomunye umuntu, ehlungiwe futhi yahlelwa.
Enye indlela enempilo ukusebenzisa ukuqhathanisa njengogqozi kuphela. Ukubuza ukuthi "yini le ndoda eyenzayo, ngokwesimo sengqondo, engingayijwayela mina?", esikhundleni sokuwela emjikelezweni wokuthi "uyamangalisa futhi angilutho".
Ekugcineni, izinga elifanele kakhulu nguwe uma uqhathanisa nawe: Ukuthi uthuthuke kangakanani kusukela izolo, kusukela ngonyaka odlule, kusukela kuleso sigaba lapho ubungeke ube nesibindi sokuthatha izinyathelo ozithathayo namuhla. Leso yisilinganiso esikhuthaza ukuzethemba.
Ukuphathwa ngokomzwelo: ukuzethemba ngaphandle kokubanjwa ukwesaba.
Imizwa enamandla, uma ingalawulwa kahle, ingalimaza kalula ukwethembana. Ngoba lapho ukwesaba, amahloni, noma ukukhathazeka kulawula ukuziphatha, ukuthambekela kuba ukuhoxa, ukugwema, ukuhlehlisa - futhi ukubaleka ngakunye kuqinisa umqondo wokuthi awukwazi ukubekezelela lokho kungakhululeki.
Ukulawula imizwa akukhona ukuyicindezela, ukwenza sengathi awuzizwa lutho, kodwa kumayelana nokufunda ukuyibona, ukuyibiza ngamagama, nokuyiqondisa. Esikhundleni sokubalalela ngokuzenzakalelayo. Ukuzizwa wesaba akukuphoqi ukuthi uyeke; ukuzizwa unamahloni akukuvimbeli ukuthi uziveze kancane kancane.
Ukuthuthukisa lobu buchule bemizwa kudinga ukuzijwayeza: ukuphefumula okujulile ngaphambi kokusabela, ukuma kancane ngaphambi kokuphendula, ukubheka lokho okuzwayo ngaphandle kokuzahlulela, bese ukhetha isimo sengqondo esivumelana nezindinganiso zakho, hhayi nje isifiso sakho saleso sikhathi.
Uma uvame ukuzwa ungakhululekile ngaphandle kokukuvumela ukuthi kulawule izinqumo zakho, Lapho ubuchopho buqonda kakhudlwana ukuthi unezinsiza zokunqoba izimo ezinzima – lokho kuwukuzethemba okumsulwa.
Indawo, abantu, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okukhulisa (noma okuqeda) ukuzethemba kwakho.
Awugcini nje ngabantu nezindawo ovame ukuya kuzo, kodwa uthonywa kakhulu yibo. Ngoba indawo, empeleni, ichaza ukuthi yiziphi izindlela zokuziphatha ezivamile, yini ekhuthazwayo, yini ehlekwa usulu, nokuthi yikuphi okulindelwe okuzungezile.
Uma uchitha isikhathi sakho esiningi ezimweni lapho wonke umuntu egxeka, ehlisa umoya, ekhononda, futhi elimaza ukukhula komunye nomunye, Amathuba okuzizwa uphephile ngokwanele ukuthatha izingozi mancane. Kodwa-ke, ezindaweni ezisekelayo nezinokwamukelana ezinezinselele ezinempilo, ukuthatha izingozi nokwenza amaphutha kuba yinto encane esongelayo.
Kuhle ukubuza ngobuqotho: ubani empilweni yakho osekela ukukhula kwakho, futhi ubani okudonsela phansi? Yimaphi amaqembu noma izindawo ezikukhuthaza ukuba ube nguwe, futhi yiziphi ezikwenza uzizwe uphansi ukuze uvumelane?
Ngezinye izikhathi, ukushintsha indawo okuyo – kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuyiqembu lokuxhumana nabantu, umsebenzi, noma uhlobo lokuqukethwe okudlayo – Kungenye yezinyathelo ezinamandla kakhulu okufanele uzithathe ukuze uqale ngokuzethemba okwengeziwe, ngoba uyeka ukulwa wedwa nohlelo olukunciphisayo bese uqala ukuthembela kunethiwekhi ekuqhubekisela phambili.
Ukwethembana kwamaqembu: ukufunda ngokwenza.
Ezimweni zemfundo, zokwelapha, noma zebhizinisi, kunezindlela eziningi zeqembu eziklanyelwe ngqo ukuqinisa ukuzethemba nokuzethemba kwabanye. Ukudala isimo sokubambisana, inhlonipho, nokuvuleleka. Le misebenzi isiza izingane, intsha kanye nabantu abadala ukuthi bazizwele mathupha ukuthi kusho ukuthini ukusekelwa nokusekela abanye.
Eminye imisebenzi ibhekana ngqo nesenzo sokuthemba omunye umuntu ngokwenyama. njengezivivinyo zomlingani lapho umuntu oyedwa ezivumela ukuba awe nyovane bese omunye embamba, noma ukuhamba evalwe amehlo lapho umlingani eqondisa khona ngemiyalelo yomlomo.
Eminye imisebenzi igxile ekuqapheleni izimfanelo, njengezindilinga lapho umhlanganyeli ngamunye ebhala khona ephepheni mayelana nozakwabo izici ezinhle abazibona kubo, bakhe "umthandi wokuzethemba" umuntu angakufunda kamuva, okuqinisa umbono wothando ngaye ngokwakhe.
Kukhona nemisebenzi yokudala neyokudlala. njengemidlalo yokulingisa evala amehlo, imidlalo "yezimpisi namawundlu" yokwakha ubunye ngokumelene nobunzima, noma izivivinyo ezinemisindo nezethulo ezihlekisayo zokufunda amagama nokuphula iqhwa emaqenjini asanda kwakhiwa.
Intambo efanayo phakathi kwazo zonke lezi ziphakamiso ukunikeza okuhlangenwe nakho okuqondile kokubambisana, ukwamukelwa, kanye nenhlonipho. lapho umuntu ngamunye engazibona ngamehlo abanye ngendlela enomusa, aqaphele ukuthi akayedwa ekungazethembi kwakhe, futhi ahlole ukuziphatha okusha endaweni ephephile.
Izinyathelo ezisebenzayo zokuqala ukukholelwa kuwe kakhudlwana.
Uma ufuna ngempela ukuqala ngokuzethemba, kuyasiza ukukhumbula izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezisebenzayo. lokho kungasetshenziswa empilweni yansuku zonke, ngaphandle kokulinda "umzuzu ofanele" noma isisusa esingavamile.
Qala ngokuzibhekisisa: ungubani namuhla, ufunani, wesabani, yiziphi izimfanelo zakho? Yiziphi izindaba ngawe ohlala uziphinda, futhi yiziphi ezingase zidinge ukubuyekezwa? Uma unenkinga, ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kungasheshisa kakhulu le nqubo.
Okulandelayo, zijwayeze ukuzamukela ngomusa, uqaphele kokubili izingxenye ozithandayo kanye nalezo okudingeka uzilungise. Futhi qonda ukuthi ukuzethemba akuyona into eqondile; kuyashintshashintsha ngokwezigaba zokuphila, ukulahlekelwa, impumelelo kanye nezinselele.
Gwema ukuqhathanisa ukusebenza kwakho kwangemuva kwesigcawu nokusebenza komunye umuntu esiteji; kunalokho, ziqhathanise nobuntu bakho bangaphambilini. Futhi zibuze ukuthi yini ongayenza namuhla, noma ngabe ibukeka incane kangakanani, ukuze usondele kumuntu ofuna ukuba yiye.
Zonke izinqumo ezincane nezihloniphekile, yonke imingcele ebekiwe, yonke ingozi ebalwe kahle ethathwayo, kanye nayo yonke imizwa engakhululekile ebhekene nayo ngaphandle kokubaleka. Kungenye into engaphakathi kwesakhiwo esibizwa ngokuthi ukuzethemba, okungekho muntu ongakususa kuwe uma sekwakhiwe ngaphakathi nangaphandle.
Uma ufunda ukuvumelanisa umzimba wakho, imicabango, imizwa, izenzo, kanye nendawo ohlala kuyo nokuthi ungubani ngempela nokuthi yini oyifunayo empilweni yakho, Ukwethembana akube yinto engaqondakali futhi kuba yisimo osaziyo ukuthi ungasifinyelela futhi usiqinise kanjani, usuku nosuku, kuze kube yilapho kuba umngane othule kukho konke okwenzayo.