Ubuntwana buyinkathi ebalulekile ekwakhekeni kobuntu bomuntu, njengoba kungalesi sigaba lapho kusungulwa khona izibopho zokuqala ezingokomzwelo, izindinganiso, nezinkolelo eziyoba nomthelela ekuziphatheni kwabo kukho konke ukuphila kwabo. Kulo mongo, kunezindlela ezine eziyinhloko ubuntwana obungalolonga ngazo ubuntu bomuntu: okuhlangenwe nakho komkhaya, ukusebenzelana komphakathi, indawo ezungezile engokwenyama, nokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo. Ngayinye yalezi zindawo idlala indima ebalulekile ekulolongeni ubunjalo bomuntu nokuthi uhlobana kanjani nomhlaba omzungezile.
Amathonya amakhulu ekwakhiweni kobuntu: yiziphi izici ezinqumayo?
Ubuntwana buyinkathi ebalulekile ekwakhekeni kobuntu bomuntu. Phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yokuphila, okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukahlukene kanye namathonya kwakheka indlela umuntu ahlobana ngayo naye kanye nomhlaba omzungezile. Kulesi sihloko, sizoqokomisa izindlela ezine ebuntwaneni obuthonya ngayo ubuntu bomuntu.
1. Ubudlelwano nabazali: Kusukela ezikhathini zokuqala zokuphila, indlela abazali abaxhumana ngayo nengane inomthelela omkhulu ebuntwini bayo. Ukunakekelwa , ukunakwa, kanye nothando olutholwa ngabazali kusiza ekwakheni ukuzethemba komuntu kanye nokuvikeleka ngokomzwelo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuntuleka kokusekelwa ngokomzwelo noma okuhlangenwe nakho okubi nabazali kungabangela izinkinga zokuzethemba kanye nobunzima bobudlelwano esikhathini esizayo.
2. Indawo yomndeni: Indawo lapho ingane ikhulela khona idlala indima ebalulekile ekukhuleni kwayo. Umndeni ohlonipha ukuxhumana, inhlonipho, kanye nokusekelana uvame ukudala abantu abalinganiselayo nabazethembayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, indawo yomndeni engahlelekile, enezingxabano eziqhubekayo kanye nokuntuleka kokusekelwa ngokomzwelo, ingadala ukungazethembi kanye nobuhlungu obuthinta ubuntu bomuntu kuyo yonke impilo yakhe.
3. Okuhlangenwe nakho empilweni: Okuhlangenwe nakho okuphilwe ebuntwaneni, kungaba kuhle noma kubi, kunamandla okubumba ubuntu bomuntu. Izinselele ezibhekene nazo, impumelelo efinyelelwe, kanye nokulahlekelwa okuhlangatshezwayo kunegalelo ekuthuthukisweni kokuqina, uzwela, kanye nekhono lokubhekana nobunzima. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuhlukumezeka okungaxazululwanga , njengokuhlukunyezwa, ukunganakwa, noma ukulahlekelwa okukhulu, kungashiya amabala ajulile ebuntwini nasekuziphatheni komuntu.
4. Ithonya Lomphakathi: Ngaphezu komndeni, ukuxhumana nabanye abantu ngesikhathi sobuntwana nakho kunethonya elibalulekile ekwakhekeni kobuntu. Ukuxhumana nabafundi ofunda nabo, othisha, omakhelwane, kanye namanye amalungu omphakathi kunegalelo ekuthuthukisweni kwamakhono okuxhumana nabantu, uzwela, kanye nekhono lokuxhumana nezinhlobo ezahlukene zabantu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuntuleka kokuhlanganiswa komphakathi noma okuhlangenwe nakho kokulahlwa kungadala imizwa yokuzihlukanisa kanye nobunzima ekuxhumaneni nabantu lapho usukhulile.
Kubalulekile ukwazisa nokuqonda amathonya ebuntwaneni ukuze kube nokwenzeka ukukhuthaza indawo enempilo neyokwamukela izingane, kube nengxenye ekuthuthukiseni ubuntu obunokulinganisela nobujabulisayo.
Ukwakheka kobuntu ebuntwaneni: amathonya, ukuthuthukiswa kanye nezici eziphawulekayo.
Ukwakheka kobuntu bengane kuyinqubo eyinkimbinkimbi nebalulekile eyenzeka phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yokuphila. Phakathi nalesi sikhathi, izingane zithonywa yizici ezihlukahlukene ezizololonga ubuntu bazo kukho konke ukuphila kwazo. Kunezindlela ezine eziyinhloko ubuntwana obuthonya ngayo ubuntu bomuntu.
Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, okuhlangenwe nakho komndeni kudlala indima ebalulekile ekwakhekeni kobuntu. Indawo yomndeni, ubudlelwano nabazali kanye nezingane zakubo, kanye nokusebenzisana kwansuku zonke ekhaya kunomthelela omkhulu ekuthuthukisweni kwengane ngokomzwelo nangokwenhlalo. Izingane ezikhulela endaweni ephephile nenothando zivame ukuthuthukisa ubuntu obuzethembayo nobulinganiselayo.
Okwesibili, ukuxhumana nabantu nabanye abantwana kanye nabantu abadala nakho kuthinta ubuntu bomntwana. Ukuxhumana nabantu ofunda nabo esikoleni, omakhelwane, kanye nothisha kunegalelo ekuthuthukisweni kwamakhono okuxhumana nabantu, uzwela, kanye nokuzethemba. Izingane ezinethuba lokuxhumana nabantu abahlukene kusukela zisencane zivame ukuba ngabantu abadala abanobungane nabazwelana kakhulu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlukumezeka nobunzima obukhona ebuntwaneni kungashiya amabala ajulile ebuntwini bomuntu. Okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu, njengokuxhashazwa, ukunganakwa, noma ukulahlekelwa othandekayo, kungadala imizwa yokungazethembi, ukukhathazeka, kanye nobunzima ekwakheni izibopho ezinempilo ngokomzwelo. Kubalulekile ukuthi izingane eziye zadlula ezimweni ezibuhlungu zithole ukwesekwa kwengqondo ukuze zibhekane nemiphumela ebuntwini bazo.
Okokugcina, amamodeli nezibonelo ingane enazo eduze kwayo nazo zithonya ubuntu bayo. Abazali, amalungu omndeni, othisha, kanye nabantu abanegunya basebenza njengezibonelo zokuziphatha kwengane. Uma la mamodeli enombono omuhle, ehlonipha, futhi enozwela, ingane inamathuba amaningi okuthuthukisa lezi zimfanelo ebuntwini bayo.
Ngamafuphi, ubuntwana buyinkathi ebalulekile yokwakheka kobuntu bomuntu. Okuhlangenwe nakho komndeni, ukusebenzelana komphakathi, ukuhlukumezeka, kanye nezibonelo yizici ezinquma ukukhula kobuntu bengane. Kubalulekile ukuthi abantu abadala abahlala nezingane bawazi la mathonya futhi banikeze indawo enempilo nesamukelekayo ukuze bathuthuke ngokomzwelo nenhlalo.
Ukubaluleka kobuntwana ekukhuleni nasekubunjweni komuntu lapho esemdala.
Ubuntwana buyisigaba esibalulekile empilweni yanoma ubani, njengoba kungalesi sikhathi lapho kubekwa khona izisekelo zokukhula nokukhula komuntu ekubeni umuntu omdala. Indlela ingane ekhuliswa ngayo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo ebuntwaneni kunomthelela omkhulu ebuntwini bayo nasekuziphatheni kukho konke ukuphila kwayo. Kulesi sihloko, sizoxoxa ngezindlela ezine ebuntwaneni obuthonya ngayo ubuntu bomuntu.
Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, ubudlelwano ingane ebakhayo nabazali bayo kanye nabanakekeli bayo ngesikhathi sobuntwana buyisisekelo ekuthuthukisweni kwayo ngokomzwelo nangokwenhlalo. Izingane ezithola uthando, ukwesekwa, kanye nokunakwa ngabazali bazo zivame ukuba abantu abadala abaphephile nabazethembayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezikhulela ezindaweni ezinobutha noma ezinganakwa zingase zibe nezinkinga ngokomzwelo nezokuziphatha kukho konke ukuphila kwazo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, okuhlangenwe nakho okuphilwa ngesikhathi sobuntwana kungathonya indlela ingane ebhekana ngayo nezinselele nobunzima lapho isikhulile. Izingane ezibhekana nezimo ezinzima futhi zifunde ukuzinqoba zithuthukisa amakhono okuqina nokubhekana nezimo azoba usizo kamuva ekuphileni. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezivikelwe ngokweqile noma lezo ezingakaze zibhekane nezinselele zingase zibe nobunzima bokubhekana nezimo ezicindezelayo lapho sezikhulile.
Ubuntwana futhi buyinkathi ebalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kobuntu bomuntu kanye nokuzethemba kwakhe. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, njengendlela ingane ephathwa ngayo abazali, ontanga, nothisha, kungase kuthonye ukubukeka kwayo nokuzethemba. Izingane ezihlale zigxekwa noma zibukelwa phansi zingahlakulela ukuzethemba nokungazethembi lapho sezikhulile.
Okokugcina, ubuntwana yisikhathi lapho izindinganiso, izinkolelo, nezimiso eziyoqondisa ukuziphatha komuntu lapho esemdala zitholwa. Izingane ezikhulela ezindaweni ezikhuthazwa ukuba zihloniphe abanye, zibe nozwela, futhi zisebenze kanzima zivame ukuba abantu abadala abanokwethenjelwa nabaziphatha kahle. Ngokuphambene, izingane ezichayeka ekuziphatheni okubi nokungafaneleki zingase zibe nezimo zengqondo eziyingozi lapho sezikhulile.
Kafushane, ubuntwana budlala indima ebalulekile ekukhuleni nasekubunjweni komuntu ekubeni umuntu omdala. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni kuthonya ubuntu bomuntu, ukuziphatha kwakhe, nesimo sakhe sengqondo kukho konke ukuphila kwakhe. Kubalulekile ukuthi abazali, abanakekeli, kanye nomphakathi uwonke banake futhi banikeze indawo ephephile, enothando, neshukumisayo yezingane ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukukhula okunempilo nokunokulinganisela.
Izinto ezithonya ukukhula kwengane: ukuhlaziya okuphelele.
Kusukela zisewusana kuqhubeke, izici ezihlukahlukene zithonya ukukhula kwezingane, ezilolonga ubuntu nokuziphatha kwazo kukho konke ukuphila kwazo. Kulesi sihloko, sizohlola izindlela ezine zobuntwana ezingathonya ubuntu bomuntu.
Esinye sezici eziyinhloko ezithonya intuthuko yengane yindawo yomndeni. Izingane ezikhulela endaweni ephephile nekhuliswayo zivame ukuthuthukisa ubuntu obuzethembayo nobuqinile . Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezivezwe ekulimaleni noma ekunganakwa zingase zibe nezinkinga zokuziphatha kanye nobunzima obungokomzwelo.
Ngaphezu kwendawo yomndeni, ukuxhumana nabantu nakho kudlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwengane . Izingane ezinethuba lokuxhumana nontanga kanye nabantu abadala ngendlela eyakhayo nevuselelayo zivame ukuthuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana nabantu aqinile kanye nobuntu obuzwelana kakhulu nobambisana.
Imfundo nayo iyisici esibalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kobuntu bomntwana . Izingane ezithola imfundo esezingeni eliphezulu futhi ezikhuthazwa ukuhlola izintshisekelo namakhono azo zivame ukuba ngabantu abadala abazethembayo nabanelisekile . Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezibhekene nobunzima esikoleni zingase zibe nobuntu obungazethembi nobungakhuthazi.
Okokugcina, okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu ebuntwaneni kungashiya izibazi ezijulile ebuntwini bomuntu. Izingane ezivezwe ebudloveni , ekuhlukunyezweni , noma ekunganakwa zingase zibe nokuzethemba , ukuzethemba , kanye nezinkinga zobudlelwano phakathi nokuphila kwazo konke.
Ngokuqaphela ukubaluleka kwalezi zici, singaba nengxenye ekukhuleni okunempilo nokulinganiselayo kwezingane, sizilungiselele ukubhekana nezinselele zokuphila kwabantu abadala.
Izindlela Ezi-4 Zobuntwana Ezithonya Ubuntu Bakho
Izingqondo zethu aziqinile njengetshe, kodwa zichazwa ngokuziphendukela kwemvelo okuqhubekayo. Kodwa le nqubo ayincikile nje eminyakeni yethu (iminyaka enqwabelanayo yokuphila), kodwa kulokho esibhekana nakho, kulokho esibhekana nakho mathupha. Ku-psychology, ukuhlukaniswa phakathi komuntu nendawo ahlala kuyo kuyinto yokwenziwa, umehluko okhona emcabangweni ngoba usisiza ukuba siqonde izinto, kodwa ezingekho empeleni.
Lokhu kubonakala kakhulu ethonyeni lobuntwana bethu ebuntwini obusichazayo lapho sesikhulile. Noma ngabe sivame ukukholelwa ukuthi esikwenzayo kungenxa yokuthi "yilokho esiyikho," futhi kunjalo, iqiniso liwukuthi kokubili imikhuba nezindlela zokuhumusha iqiniso esizamukelayo ebuntwaneni bethu kuzoba nomthelela omkhulu endleleni esicabanga futhi senze ngayo. Zizwa ngale ndlela ngemva kokuthomba.
Yile ndlela ubuntwana bethu obuthonya ngayo ukukhula kobuntu
Ubuntu bomuntu yibo obufingqa izindlela zabo zokuziphatha lapho behumusha iqiniso, behlaziya imizwa yabo, futhi bedala eyabo imikhuba, hhayi eminye. Ngamanye amazwi, yikho okusenza senze ngendlela ethile, ehlukaniseke kalula kwabanye.
Kodwa ubuntu abuveli ezingqondweni zethu emoyeni nje , njengokungathi ukuba khona kwabo akuhlangene nhlobo nendawo esizungezile. Ngokuphambene nalokho, ubuntu bethu ngabunye buyinhlanganisela yezakhi zofuzo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho okufundiwe (okuningi kwakho okungekho ekilasini lesikole noma eyunivesithi, vele). Futhi ubuntwana buyisigaba esibalulekile lapho sifunda khona kakhulu futhi lapho ukufunda ngakunye kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ngakho-ke, esibhekana nakho eminyakeni yethu yokuqala kushiya uphawu kithi, uphawu olungeke luhlale lufana, kodwa lokho okuzodlala indima ebalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kwendlela yethu yokuphila kanye nokuhlobana nabanye. Kwenzeka kanjani lokhu? Ngokuyisisekelo, ngezinqubo ongabona ngezansi.
1. Ukubaluleka kokunamathiselwe
Kusukela ezinyangeni zokuqala zokuphila, indlela esizizwa ngayo, noma esingazizwa ngayo, ukunamathela kumama noma ubaba kuyinto esiphawulayo.
Eqinisweni, okunye okubaluleke kakhulu okutholakele emkhakheni we-Evolutionary Psychology ukuthi, ngaphandle kwezikhathi zothando, ukuthintana ngqo ngokomzimba, nokuthintana kwamehlo, izingane zikhula zinezinkinga ezinkulu zokuqonda, zemizwa, nezokuziphatha. Asidingi nje ukudla, ukuphepha, nendawo yokuhlala; sidinga uthando ngazo zonke izindlela. Futhi yingakho lokho esingakubiza ngokuthi "imindeni enobuthi" kuyizindawo eziyingozi ongakhulela kuzo.
Ngokusobala, izinga esithola ngalo ulwazi oluhlobene nokunamathiselwe kuyindaba yamadigri. Phakathi kokungabikho ngokuphelele kokuthintana ngokomzimba nokugona kanye nenani elifanele lalezi zakhi, kunesilinganiso esimpunga esibanzi, esenza kube nezinkinga ezingokwengqondo ezingase zibonakale zithambile noma zizimbi kakhulu, kuye ngesimo ngasinye.
Ngakho-ke, amacala anzima kakhulu angaholela ekuphazamisekeni okukhulu kwengqondo noma ngisho nasekufeni (uma kukhona ukuswela njalo imizwa nengqondo), kanti izinkinga ezincane ebudlelwaneni nabazali noma abanakekeli zingasenza sibe ngabantu abazondayo futhi sesabe ukuxhumana nabanye ebuntwaneni nasebudaleni.
2. Izitayela zesichasiso
Indlela abanye abasifundisa ngayo ukwahlulela thina ebuntwaneni nayo ithonya kakhulu ukuzethemba kanye nomqondo esiwufaka ngaphakathi lapho sesikhulile. Isibonelo, abanye abazali abavame ukusahlulela kanzima basenza sikholelwe ukuthi konke okuhle okwenzeka kithi kungenxa yesiphetho noma ukuziphatha kwabanye, kuyilapho izinto ezimbi zenzeka ngenxa yamakhono ethu anganele.
- Ungase ube nentshisekelo ku-: ” I-Causal Attribution Theories: Incazelo kanye Nababhali “
3. Ithiyori yezwe elinobulungisa
Kusukela ebuntwaneni, sifundiswa ukukholelwa ukuthi okuhle kuyavuzwa futhi ububi buyajeziswa. Lesi simiso siwusizo ekusiqondiseni ekuthuthukisweni kokuziphatha nasekusifundiseni izindinganiso ezithile eziyisisekelo zokuziphatha, kodwa siyingozi uma sisithatha njengoba sinjalo—okungukuthi, uma sicabanga ukuthi iwuhlobo lwe-karma yangempela, umqondo onengqondo olawula icosmos ngokwawo, ngaphandle kwalokho esikudalayo noma esikwenzayo.
Uma sikholelwa ngentshiseko kule karma yasemhlabeni, kungasiholela ekucabangeni ukuthi abantu abangajabule abajabule ngoba benze okuthile ukuze bakufanele, noma ukuthi abanenhlanhla enkulu nabo banenhlanhla ngoba bakutholile. Kuwubandlululo olusenza sibe ngabantu abazimele kanye nokuntuleka kobumbano , kanye nokuphika izimbangela ezihlangene zezenzakalo ezifana nobumpofu kanye nokukholelwa "ezingqondweni ezisicebisayo."
Ngakho-ke, inkolelo-mbono yezwe elilungile, noma ngabe ingase ibonakale iyindida kangakanani, isibeka esimweni sobuntu obusekelwe ekuqineni kwengqondo , ukuthambekela kokwenqaba noma yini edlula izindinganiso okufanele zisetshenziswe ngazinye.
4. Ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu nabantu ongabazi
Ebuntwaneni, yonke into ibucayi kakhulu: ngomzuzwana, konke kungahamba kahle, ngenxa yokungazi kwethu umhlaba, futhi isithombe sethu somphakathi singabhekana nazo zonke izinhlobo zamaphutha. Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi ekilasini lesikole, umehluko wezinyanga phakathi kwabafundi usho ukuthi abanye banolwazi oluningi kakhulu kunabanye, lokhu kungadala ukungalingani okucacile nama-asymmetries.
Ngenxa yalokho, uma ngesizathu esithile sijwayela ukwesaba ukuxhumana nabanye, ukuntuleka kwethu kwamakhono okuxhumana nabantu kungasiholela ekukhathazekeni ngobudlelwano nabantu esingabazi, okusiholela ohlotsheni lobuntu olusekelwe ekugwemeni kanye nokukhetha okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlobene nalokho osekwaziwa kakade, nalokho okungekusha.