Ubunzima bokubonisa uthando bungabangelwa izici ezihlukahlukene, njengokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okudlule, amakhono okuxhumana ampofu, ukwesaba ukwaliwa, noma ukuntula ulwazi mayelana nendlela yokubonisa uthando ngendlela efanele. Laba bantu bangase babe nobunzima bokubona nokuphatha eyabo imizwa, okunomthelela ekugcineni indlela abahlobana ngayo nabanye. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi umuntu ngamunye unokuhlangenwe nakho nezinselele zakhe, futhi ukunikeza ukwesekwa nokuqonda kubalulekile ukuze babasize bafunde ukubonisa uthando ngendlela enempilo.
Ubunzima bokuveza imizwa yothando bungabangelwa izici ezihlukahlukene zomuntu siqu.
Ubunzima bokuveza imizwa yothando bungabangelwa izici ezihlukahlukene zomuntu siqu. Abanye abantu bangase babe nobunzima ekuboniseni uthando ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu okudlule, njengobudlelwane obuhlukumezayo noma ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo ebuntwaneni. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kungashiya izibazi ezingokomzwelo ezenza kube nzima ukuveza imizwa eyakhayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ubuntu bomuntu ngamunye nabo budlala indima ebalulekile. Abantu abangenalwazi noma abanamahloni bangase babe nobunzima bokuvula imizwa yabo nokuveza imizwa yabo yothando. Lokhu kungase kubangelwa ukuntula ukuzethemba noma ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa.
Esinye isici esenza kube nzima ukubonisa uthando ukukhulumisana okungenampumelelo. Abanye abantu bangase baswele amakhono adingekayo okuveza imizwa yabo ngokucacile nangokuqiniseka. Lokhu kungase kubangele ukungezwani nokukhungatheka, kwenze kube nzima ukubonisa uthando.
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela lezi zici futhi usebenze ukuze uzinqobe ukuze uqinise izibopho ezingokomzwelo futhi wakhe ubudlelwano obunempilo, obujabulisayo.
Ubani igama lomuntu onenkinga yokubonisa uthando?
Abanye abantu banenkinga yokubonisa uthando, futhi lokhu kuziphatha kungabangelwa yizici ezahlukene. Esinye sezizathu zalobu bunzima ukuba khona kwesimo sengqondo esaziwa ngokuthi i-anorexia engokomzwelo.
I-anorexia engokomzwelo iyisifo esithinta ikhono lomuntu lokuveza imizwelo, kuhlanganise nothando. Laba bantu bathambekele ekuvalelekeni ngokomzwelo, bagweme ukuboniswa kothando nokudala imigoqo yokuzivikela ezingozini ezingokomzwelo ezingase zibe khona.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, okuhlangenwe nakho kwesikhathi esidlule kokulahlwa, ukulahlwa, noma ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo kungase kube nomthelela ebunzimeni bokubonisa uthando. Lezi zenzakalo ezimbi zingadala ukwesaba ukuvuleka ngokomzwelo nokuba sengozini nabanye.
Kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi ubunzima ekuboniseni uthando akusho ukuthi umuntu akaluzwa, kodwa kunalokho ubhekana nezingqinamba ekuboniseni uthando. Ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo, njengodokotela wezengqondo, kungabaluleka ekuqondeni nasekunqobeni lezi zithiyo zemizwa.
Amasu okusebenzelana nabantu abanobunzima bokuveza uthando nokunakekela.
Kungani abanye abantu bengakwazi ukubonisa uthando? Ngokuvamile, abantu bayazabalaza ukukhombisa uthando nokunakekela ngenxa yezinto abake babhekana nazo esikhathini esidlule, ukuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo, noma ngenxa nje yokuthi abazange bafundiswe ukuveza imizwa yabo ngendlela efanele.
Ukuze ubhekane nalaba bantu, kubalulekile ukusebenzisa amasu angabasiza banqobe izithiyo zabo ezingokomzwelo futhi bafunde ukuveza uthando ngendlela enempilo. Elinye lamasu asebenza kahle kakhulu ukuxhumana ngozwela . Ngokubonisa ukuqonda nozwela kumuntu ngamunye, ungabasiza bazizwe bekhululekile ukwabelana ngemizwa yabo.
Elinye isu elibalulekile ukudala indawo eyamukelayo nephephile . Ngokunikeza indawo lapho umuntu ezizwa ekhululekile ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngaphandle kokwahlulela, uzobe umkhuthaza ukuba avuleke futhi axhumane ngokomzwelo nabanye.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukuba nesineke nokuhlonipha isikhathi somuntu . Izinguquko ezingokomzwelo azenzeki ngobusuku obubodwa, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukunikeza umuntu isikhathi sokuzizwa ekhululekile futhi ephephile ngokwanele ukuveza imizwa yakhe ngobuqotho.
Ngokusebenzisa la masu, uzobe usiza laba bantu ukuba banqobe izithiyo zabo ezingokomzwelo futhi bafunde ukubonisa uthando ngezindlela ezinempilo neziqondile.
Ubunzima bokuveza imizwa buvamile futhi kuyingxenye yenqubo yokuzazi.
Ubunzima bokuveza imizwelo, njengothando, buvamile futhi buyingxenye yenqubo yabantu abaningi yokuzihlola. Lobu bunzima ngokuvamile bungase buhlotshaniswe nokuhlukumezeka ngokomzwelo okudlule, ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana nabantu, noma indaba yobuntu nje.
Abanye abantu bangase babe nobunzima ekuboniseni uthando ngenxa yokuthi bakhulele ezimweni lapho ukubonisa uthando kwakungavamile noma kwamukelekile. Lokhu kungaholela ekungazethembi nasekwesabeni ukuba sengozini, kwenze kube nzima ukuveza imizwa eyakhayo.
Abanye bangase bakuthwale kanzima ukuveza uthando ngenxa yezinkinga zokuzethemba, okubaholela ekubeni bakholelwe ukuthi abakufanelekele ukuthandwa noma abakwazi ukuthanda ngokwanele. Lezi zinkolelo ezikhawulelayo zingavimba ikhono lokuxhuma ngokomzwelo nabanye.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana nabanye kungase kube nomthelela ebunzimeni bokubonisa uthando. Abanye abantu abazi ukuthi bangalubonisa kanjani uthando ngendlela efanele, okungaholela ekungabonini kahle nasekukhungathekeni ebudlelwaneni.
Kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi ubunzima bokuveza imizwa, kuhlanganise nothando, akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka, kodwa kuyithuba lokukhula komuntu siqu. Ngokubona nokusebenzisa lobu bunzima, abantu bangafunda ukuxhumana ngokuyiqiniso nangokuzuzisayo nabanye, bakhuthaze ubudlelwano obunempilo nobanelisa ngokwengeziwe.
Kungani kukhona abantu abangakwazi ukukhombisa uthando?
Izwe lothando nobudlelwano selivele liyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa kunezikhathi lapho ukubhekana nalo kuba nzima nakakhulu ngenxa yezinkinga zokuveza imizwa nokuxhumana.
Eqinisweni, kwabanye abantu, into elula (ngokombono) njengokuthi "Ngiyakuthanda" ingaba inselele. Lokhu kungase kube ngenxa yokwesaba ukuzibophezela, kodwa kungase futhi kuhlobene nokuveza imizwa ngokuvamile. Ngezansi, sizobheka ukuthi kwenzekani uma impilo yakho yothando ihlangabezana nalesi sithiyo sesibili.
- Ungase ube nentshisekelo kulokhu: Uzwelo, kakhulu kunokuzifaka ezicathulweni zomunye umuntu
Lapho uthando yizwi elingenalutho
Cabanga ukuthi igama elithi uthando alisho lutho kuwe , futhi kuyafana nenzondo, ukwesaba, umuzwa wecala, noma injabulo. Uma uzizwa, zizwakala zingenalutho, zingenawo umbala wemizwa ozichazayo. Imizwa imane nje ingamagama amaningi ongawengeza esichazamazwini, amagama angenalutho owaziyo ukuthi asho ukuthini ngoba uwafundile, kodwa awasho lutho.
Awazi ukuthi ungayichaza kanjani imizwa; mhlawumbe uyazi ukuthi uvame ukuzizwa kabi, kodwa awukwazi ukusho ukuthi udabuke, uthukuthele, uyesaba, njll. Awazi ukuthi uthandana noma uke wathandana; awuzange uzalwe ukuthi uthi "Ngiyakuthanda ." Awuqondi ukubonakala, ukushukuma komzimba, ukuthula, ulimi olungakhulumi—kungenye iphazili ongeke ukwazi ukuyichaza.
Nakuba kubonakala sengathi kuyinto engavamile futhi engavamile, i-Spanish Society of Neurology ilinganisela ukuthi, ngokwezifundo zokusabalala, okungenani u-10% wabantu emhlabeni wonke ubhekene nalesi simo; okungukuthi, umuntu oyedwa kwabayishumi unesifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuthi i-alexithymia.
Izimpawu ze-alexithymia
Igama elithi alexithymia, ngokwezwi nezwi lisho ukuthi "ukuntuleka kwamagama emizwa," lisho ubunzima ekuboneni nasekuchazeni ngamazwi imizwa nemizwa kuwena nakwabanye. Lo mkhawulo ubonwa nangolimi olungakhulumi.
Ezinye zezimpawu noma izici ze-alexithymia yilezi:
- Ubunzima bokubona izinhlobo ezahlukene zemizwa nemizwa.
- Ubunzima bokuxhuma imizwa nemizwa engokomzimba noma yomzimba kanye nokuveza imizwa.
- Isitayela sokucabanga esikhawulelwe noma esinomkhawulo.
- Ubunzima bokubona imizwa kwabanye kanye nokubona izimpawu zabo zobuso noma zokuthinta.
- Inganekwane encane noma engekho nhlobo, ukuphupha emini, kanye nomsebenzi wokucabanga.
- Isitayela sokuxhumana esiqinile, ukuma okulinganiselwe nolimi lomzimba, akukho ukuthinta, iphimbo eliyisicefe futhi alikho iphimbo.
Abantu ababanda kakhulu ebudlelwaneni?
Abantu abane-alexithymia bavame ukuchazwa ngabanye njengabantu ababandayo nabakude . Abanalo uzwela futhi bavame ukuba nenkinga yokubona nokusabela ngendlela efanele emizweni nasezimweni zalabo ababazungezile, ngakho-ke ubudlelwano bomndeni, bothando kanye nobezenhlalo buvame ukuthinteka kakhulu.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, babonisa indlela yokucabanga enengqondo kakhulu, esekelwe ekucabangeni, lapho izici ezithinta inhliziyo zingenandawo khona . Banekhono eliphansi lokujabulela futhi, kubo, cishe akunakwenzeka ukuzwa amaphupho namaphupho noma ukucabanga ngobuhlakani.
Akuyona i-alexithymia, abanayo imizwa; banayo, ubunzima babo busekungazini ukuthi bangayiqaphela futhi bayiveze kanjani ngamazwi noma ngezimpawu zomzimba. Ukungakwazi ukuveza imizwa kubaholela ekubeni bazizwe bephatheke kabi, bephathwa yikhanda elibuhlungu, ubuhlungu besisu, i-tachycardia, ukucindezeleka kwemisipha, njll. Babonisa esimweni sabo somzimba lokho abangakwazi ukukusho ngamazwi noma ngezimpawu zomzimba . Ngakho-ke, kunzima kakhulu ngabantu abane-alexithymia ukuhlukanisa phakathi kwemizwa nemizwa yomzimba.
Izinhlobo zobunzima ekukhulumeni ngemizwa
I-Alexithymia ingahlukaniswa izigaba ezimbili -
1. I-Alexithymia eyisisekelo
Kuhlobene nezinto eziphilayo . Lapha, iziguli ezine-Autism Spectrum Disorders zizofakwa. Eqinisweni, iphesenti eliphezulu leziguli ezine-autism spectrum disorders (phakathi kuka-80% no-90%) zibonisa izici ze-alexithymia. Kuhlobene futhi nokulimala noma izifo zezinzwa, njenge-stroke, i-multiple sclerosis, isifo sikaParkinson, njll.
Ngokwezinzwa, kungase kube ngenxa yokungasebenzi kahle ekuxhumaneni phakathi kwesistimu ye- limbic (enomthwalo wokulawula imizwa) kanye ne-neocortex (ilawula ukuhlakanipha okungaqondakali, ukucabanga nokunengqondo) noma phakathi kwe-hemisphere yesobunxele (ebhekene nolimi, ukucabanga okunengqondo, njll.) kanye ne-hemisphere elungile, ubuciko, ukunakekelwa kwe-creat.
2. I-alexithymia yesibili
Okuhlobene nezici zengqondo ezibonakala kubantu abaye babhekana nokulimala ngokomzwelo , njengokuhlukunyezwa kwasebuntwaneni, ukuphazamiseka kokucindezeleka ngemva kwenhlekelele (impi, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukuphathwa kabi, njll.), noma ababengenalo ulwazi olwanele lwemizwa ebuntwaneni (izingane ezazingafundiswanga kahle ukumaka nokuhlonza imizwa yazo).
Kuvamile futhi kubantu abanokucindezeleka, i-cyclothymia, ukuphazamiseka kokudla okufana ne-anorexia nervosa, noma izidakamizwa. I-alexithymia yesibili, ngokungafani ne-alexithymia eyinhloko, ingabuyiselwa emuva ngokusebenzisa i-psychotherapy futhi ngezinye izikhathi ngosizo lwemithi yokucindezeleka.
Ukwelashwa
Nakuba abantu abane-alexithymia ngokuvamile bengalufuni ukwelapha, futhi uma belufuna, kungenxa yokucindezeleka kwendawo abahlala kuyo eseduze, ukwelapha ngokuziphatha kwengqondo nokwelashwa okuhlangene nabanye kungabasiza ukuba bathuthukise ukuqwashisa kwabo ngokomzwelo.
Umgomo oyinhloko wokwelashwa kwengqondo ukusiza isiguli ukuthi sithole, sifake amalebula, futhi siqonde kahle imizwa yaso. Kubalulekile ukuthi sifunde ukuqonda imizwa yaso, siyikhulume, futhi sibone imizwa ehambisana nayo.
Kuzodingeka futhi ukuvala amandla obuthakathaka okulawula imizwa ngokufundisa umuntu ukuzilawula ngokomzwelo nokuveza imizwa ngendlela efanele.