Udlame lobudlelwano phakathi kwentsha luyinkinga engathi sína futhi ethinta ukuphila kwentsha eningi emhlabeni wonke. Lolu hlobo lodlame lungazibonakalisa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene, ezihlanganisa ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, ngamazwi, ngisho nangocansi. Kubalulekile ukubhekana nalolu daba ngendlela ezwelayo futhi unikeze ukwesekwa nesiqondiso entsheni ehlangabezana nalesi simo ukuze kugwenywe ukulimala okwengeziwe ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Kubalulekile ukuthi umphakathi, imindeni, kanye nezikhungo zemfundo ziqaphele izimpawu zodlame lobudlelwano phakathi kwentsha futhi zinikeze ukwesekwa ukuze zinqobe lezi zimo ngendlela enempilo nephephile.
Izinhlobo zodlame oluphathwa yintsha: funda futhi ufunde ukuthi ungakugwema kanjani lokhu kuhlukumeza.
Udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadile intsha Kuyiqiniso elikhathazayo elidinga ukudingidwa futhi kubhekwane nalo. Isikhathi esiningi abantu abasha bayehluleka ukukhomba izimpawu zokuhlukumezeka ebudlelwaneni bagcine sebehlupheka buthule. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuqonda izinhlobo zodlame intsha engabhekana nazo nokuthi ingakuvimbela kanjani ukuhlukunyezwa okunjalo.
Enye yezinhlobo ezivame kakhulu zodlame yi ubudlova obungokomzwelo, okuhlanganisa ukuthotshiswa, izinsongo, ukugxekwa ngokomzwelo, nokulawulwa ngokweqile kozakwethu oyedwa. Lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza lungashiya izibazi ezijulile ekuzethembeni nasekuphileni kahle ngokomzwelo kwentsha.
Olunye uhlobo lobudlova ubudlova obungokomzimba, okuhlanganisa ubudlova obungokomzimba njengokusunduza, ukushaywa ngezimpama, nokushaya ngezibhakela. Lolu hlobo lokuhlukumeza luyingozi kakhulu futhi lungaholela ekulimaleni okubi kakhulu noma ngisho nokufa.
Ngaphezu kwalokho udlame locansi Futhi kuyindlela evamile yokuhlukumeza ebudlelwaneni bentsha. Ukucindezela uphathina ukuthi enze into angafuni ukuyenza noma ukumphoqa ukuthi baye ocansini kuyizibonelo zalolu hlobo lodlame.
Ukuvimbela lokhu kuhlukumeza, kubalulekile ukuthi intsha izazi izimpawu eziyisixwayiso ebudlelwaneni bayo. Ukukhuluma nabangani, umndeni, kanye nabasebenzi bezempilo mayelana nolwazi lwabo nokufuna usizo kuyizinyathelo ezibalulekile zokulwa nodlame olusondelene nozakwethu.
I-Psychology reflections ngobudlelwano bothando ebusheni: ukuhlaziywa okujulile.
Ubudlelwano bezothando ebusheni buyisihloko esibaluleke kakhulu kwezokusebenza kwengqondo, njengoba lesi yisigaba lapho abantu abasha beqala ukuzwa ubunzima nezinselelo zothando nokusondelana. Kulo mongo, udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha buvela njengendaba ephathelene okufanele ihlaziywe ngokujulile.
I-Psychology igqamisa ukuthi ubudlelwano bothando ebusheni buphawulwa yimizwa ejulile kanye nezinto ezitholakele, ezingabenza babe sengcupheni yokuziphatha enobudlova. Kubalulekile ukugcizelela ukuthi udlame alupheleli ekuhlaseleni ngokomzimba, kodwa futhi luhlanganisa izinhlobo zokulawula, ukukhohlisa, nokuhlukumeza ngokomzwelo.
Enye yezinto eziyinhloko ezibangela udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana nokuxazulula izingxabano. Intsha ivamise ukungakwazi ukuveza imizwa yayo ngendlela enempilo futhi igcine isiphendukela ekuziphatheni okunolaka ukuze ibhekane nezinkinga zobudlelwano.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, umthelela wezinkambiso zamasiko nezenhlalo nawo udlala indima ebalulekile ekuqhubekiseni udlame ebudlelwaneni bentsha. Umbono wokuthi umona nokulawula kuyizimpawu zothando ungenza abantu abasha bamukele ukuziphatha kabi njengento evamile, okunomthelela ekuqhubekeleni phambili kobudlelwano obunobuthi.
Uma kubhekwa lesi simo, kubalulekile ukuthi isayikholoji isebenze ngokuvimbela, ikhuthaze imfundo yemizwa kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwamakhono obudlelwane obunempilo phakathi kwentsha. Ukuqwashisa ngezimpawu zodlame kanye nokubaluleka kokufuna usizo kubalulekile ekwephuleni umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa nokuvikela impilo yengqondo nengokomzwelo yabantu abasha.
Ngamafuphi, ukucabanga kwengqondo kubudlelwano bothando ebusheni kuyasixwayisa ngesidingo sokuqonda nokubhekana nodlame ebudlelwaneni obuphakathi kwezithandani ezisakhula ngokuzimisela nokuzinikela. Kuphela ngemfundo nokwesekwa okwanele lapho singakhuthaza ubudlelwano obunempilo, obungenalo udlame ezizukulwaneni ezizayo.
Udlame olusondelene nozakwethu: Qonda ukuthi udlame lwabalingani abasondelene luyini kanye nemiphumela yako.
Udlame lobudlelwane phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha luyinkinga enkulu okufanele ixazululwe ngokushesha. Intsha ivamise ukuhluleka ukubona izimpawu zodlame ebudlelwaneni, okungaholela emiphumeleni emibi kakhulu empilweni yabo yengqondo nengokomzwelo.
Udlame lwasebudlelwaneni lungaziveza ngezindlela ezahlukene, njengokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ngamazwi, ngokomzwelo ngisho nangokwezocansi. Lezi izinhlobo zobudlova zingenzeka ngezindlela ezicashile, okwenza kube nzima ngentsha ukuqaphela ukuthi isebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo.
Imiphumela yodlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwentsha eshadile ibuhlungu kakhulu. Alem Ngaphezu komthelela empilweni yengqondo nengokomzwelo, udlame oluhlobene lungaholela ezinkingeni zokuzethemba, ukuzihlukanisa nomphakathi ngisho nemizamo yokuzibulala.
Kubalulekile ukuthi intsha ifundiswe ngokuthi buyini udlame ebudlelwaneni nokuthi zingahlonzwa kanjani izimpawu zobudlelwano obuhlukumezayo. Alem Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukuthi bazi ukuthi bangalufuna kuphi usizo uma bebhekene nesimo sodlame.
Kafushane nje, udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha yinkinga enkulu edinga ukusukunyelwa kakhulu. Ukufundisa abantu abasha ngezingozi zodlame ebudlelwaneni kanye nendlela yokuzivikela kubalulekile ukuze kugwenywe imiphumela elimazayo. Kumele qaphela futhi uzimisele ukusiza intsha ishiye ubudlelwano obuhlukumezayo futhi ilulame ekuhlukumezekeni okubangelwe udlame.
Imithelela engemihle yokuqalwa kobudlelwano bothando ebusheni.
Ubudlelwano bezothando ngesikhathi sokuthomba bungaba nemithelela eminingi engemihle, ikakhulukazi uma buqala kusenesikhathi. Enye yezinkinga ezinkulu ezihambisana nalokhu udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha. Ngeshwa, leli qiniso liya ngokuya livamile, futhi abantu abasha babhekene nezimo zokuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, nangokwengqondo phakathi kobudlelwane babo.
Esinye sezizathu eziyinhloko zalesi simo esikhathazayo ukuntula ukuvuthwa ngokomzwelo phakathi kwentsha, ngokuvamile engakwazi ukulawula imizwa yayo futhi igcine iphendukela odlameni njengendlela yokuxazulula izingxabano. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukucindezela komphakathi kanye nokwenza kahle kothando lothando kungaba nomthelela ekuqhubekeleni phambili kwalolu hlobo lokuziphatha.
Udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha bungabangela umonakalo omkhulu, ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Izisulu zivame ukuhlupheka ngokuthula, zesaba ukwahlulela noma ukulahlekelwa umlingani wazo. Lokhu kungaholela emjikelezweni wodlame oqhubeka ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Kubalulekile ukuthi abantu abasha bakwazi ukufinyelela olwazini mayelana nobudlelwano obunempilo nokuthi bangazibona kanjani izimpawu zokuhlukumeza. Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukuthi izisulu zithole ukwesekwa okwanele ukuze zikwazi ukufuna usizo futhi zinqamule umjikelezo wodlame.
Kafushane, imithelela engemihle yobudlelwano bothando phakathi kwentsha iyakhathaza, ikakhulukazi mayelana nodlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha. Umsebenzi oqhubekayo wokuqwashisa nokuvimbela uyadingeka ukuze kuqinisekiswe ukuthi abantu abasha bangaphila ubudlelwano obunempilo, obungenalo udlame.
Udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabashadikazi abasebasha
Intsha eningi nentsha ayinaki kangako udlame ebudlelwaneni bayo, ithanda ukukholelwa ukuthi yinkinga ethinta abantu abadala kuphela. Kodwa-ke, ngesikhathi sokuthandana, izici ezibalulekile ze-etiological zodlame olusekelwe ebulilini ezenzeka emibhangqwaneni yabantu abadala zingavela.
Udlame emibhangqwaneni emisha: kungani kwenzeka?
Ubudlova bokuphola buyinkinga ethinta bonke ubudala, izinhlanga, izigaba zomphakathi nezinkolo. Kuyinkinga yezenhlalo nezempilo ukuthi, ngenxa yezigameko zayo eziphezulu, okwamanje ikhiqize i-alamu ebalulekile yomphakathi, kokubili ngenxa yobucayi bamaqiniso kanye nemiphumela emibi.
Umqondo wodlame ebudlelwaneni bentsha uchazwe ababhali abaningana. Ucwaningo lwamazwe ngamazwe lusebenzisa igama elithi "ubudlova bokuthandana kanye/noma udlame lokuthandana." E-Spain, igama elisetshenziswa kakhulu lithi udlame phakathi ubudlelwano phakathi intsha ou udlame ebudlelwaneni bokuthandana .
Ukuchaza lolu hlobo lodlame
URyan Shorey, uGregory Stuart, kanye noTara Cornelius bachaza udlame lokuthandana ngokuthi lokho kuziphatha okubandakanya ukuhlukumeza ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo noma ngokocansi phakathi kwamalungu ombhangqwana opholayo . Abanye ababhali bagcizelela ukuthi lolu udlame olusho noma yimuphi umzamo wokubusa noma ukulawula umuntu ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo kanye/noma ngokocansi, okubangela uhlobo oluthile lokulimala.
Okufanele Ufunde: "Izimpawu ze-30 Zokuhlukumeza Ngokwengqondo Ebudlelwaneni"
Ku-psychology, ababhali abaningana bazamile ukuchaza izimbangela zalolu dlame ebudlelwaneni bentsha. Yize okwamanje zimbalwa izifundo ezikhulume ngomsuka nokugcinwa kodlame kule mibhangqwana, kukhona ukuthambekela kokukuchaza kusuka kumibono yakudala yolaka noma okuxhunyaniswe nemibono mayelana nodlame olusekelwe ebulilini emibhangqwaneni yabantu abadala.
Ngezansi kukhona ezinye ezifanele kakhulu, kodwa hhayi zonke, izithiyori zetiyori kanye namamodeli wetiyetha ukuze kukhanye okuthile kule nkinga.
Ithiyori yokunamathisela
U-John Bowlby (1969) uphakamisa ukuthi abantu balolonge isitayela sabo sobudlelwano ngokusekelwe ekusebenzelaneni nobudlelwano ababusungule beseyingane ngezibalo zabo eziyinhloko ezinamathiselwe (umama nobaba). Lokhu kusebenzisana nomthelela ekuqaliseni nasekuthuthukisweni kokuziphatha okunolaka .
Ngokwalo mbono, intsha evela emakhaya lapho ibone khona futhi/noma yahlukunyezwa khona, enezinkinga zokulawula imizwa yayo, amakhono aphansi okuxazulula izinkinga kanye/noma ukuzethemba okuncane, izici okungenzeka ukuthi nazo zibangelwa Ngaphambili, zingaba nethuba elikhulu lokusungula ubudlelwano obungqubuzanayo.
Kusukela kulo mbono, i ukuhlukumeza ebusheni bekuyovela kulokho okwenzeka ebuntwaneni , njengokuziphatha komzali okunolaka, ukuhlukunyezwa kwezingane, ukunamathela okungavikelekile, njll., futhi ngesikhathi esifanayo kuthonya ukwenzeka kwamaphethini angasebenzi lapho umuntu omdala. Kodwa-ke, asikwazi ukuziba ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu siqu kuhilela inqubo yokuchaza okukodwa okungavumela la maphethini ukuthi ashintshwe.
Ukujula: “Ithiyori yokunamathisela kanye nesibopho phakathi kwabazali nezingane”
I-Social Learning Theory
Iphakanyiswe ngu-Albert Bandura ngo-1973, igxile emiqondweni yokumodela nokufunda komphakathi, ichaza ukuthi ukufunda kwezingane kwenzeka kanjani ngokulingisa esikubonayo .
Ukuziphatha okunolaka ebudlelwaneni babashadikazi abasebasha kuzokhiqizwa ngokuzifunda ngolwazi lomuntu siqu noma ngokubona ubudlelwano lapho kunodlame khona. Ngakho-ke, abantu abahlangabezana noma abachayeke odlameni kungenzeka babonise ukuziphatha kobudlova uma kuqhathaniswa nalabo abangazange bahlupheke noma bavezwe kukho.
Nokho, kufanele sicabangele ukuthi umuntu ngamunye wenza inqubo yakhe yokwakha ngokusekelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe futhi akagcini ngokukopisha amasu okuxazulula izingxabano zabazali bakhe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, Olunye ucwaningo luye lwathola ukuthi akuzona zonke intsha eziye zenza noma izisulu zolaka kubalingani babo, ebuntwaneni, abanolwazi noma ababone ukuziphatha okunolaka emakhaya abo, phakathi kwabangane noma nabalingane bangaphambili.
Umbono Wabesifazane
Ababhali abanjengoLenore Walker (1989 ) chaza ukuthi udlame kubantu abathandanayo lusukela ekusabalaleni okungalingani emphakathini okusekelwe ebulilini , ekhiqiza amandla amaningi kwabesilisa kunabesifazane. Ngokwalo mbono, abesifazane babhekwa njengezinto zokulawula nokulawulwa yisistimu yezinzalamizi ngokusebenzisa izimiso zethiyori yokufunda komphakathi, amanani ezenhlalo ye-patriarchy, nokungalingani ngokobulili, asakazwa futhi afundwa ezingeni ngalinye. Udlame olusekelwe kubulili udlame oluhloselwe ukugcina ukulawula kanye/noma ukubusa ebudlelwaneni obungalingani, lapho bobabili ozakwethu bathole ukuhlalisana okuhlukile.
Lo mbono wethiyori uguqulelwe ukubhekana nodlame ebudlelwaneni bentsha, kucatshangelwa ubufakazi obuningi bokuthi izinhlelo zezinkolelo zendabuko zithonya indima yobulili, kokubili ekuveleni nasekugcinweni kodlame. Lokhu kuzivumelanisa nezimo kuchaza futhi kuhlaziye ukuthi kungani ulaka olubikwa abafana luvame ukuba lukhulu futhi luhlaziya umehluko ongaba khona phakathi kobulili, isibonelo, mayelana nemiphumela.
Ithiyori yokushintshisana komphakathi
Ihlongozwe nguGeorge C. Homans (1961), kukhombisa ukuthi ugqozi lwabantu lusekutholeni imiklomelo kanye nokunciphisa noma ukuqeda izindleko ebudlelwaneni babo . Ngakho, ukuziphatha komuntu kuyehluka kuye ngokwenani kanye nohlobo lomvuzo acabanga ukuthi uzowuthola.
Ngakho-ke, i- udlame ebudlelwaneni lusetshenziswa njengendlela yokunciphisa izindleko , ukuthola ukulawula namandla ngobudlova. Ukuphishekela ukulawula komhlukumezi kuzohlotshaniswa nokunciphisa ezinye izindleko zobudlelwane obungase bube khona, ukungaqiniseki, ukungazi ukuthi omunye umuntu ucabangani, wenzani, lapho ekhona, njll. Ngalo mqondo, ukuncipha kokubuyisana ekusebenzelaneni okuthile, maningi amathuba okuba nokuziphatha okungokomzwelo okusekelwe entukuthelweni noma udlame.
Ngokulandelayo, lokhu kuziphatha kwenza umuntu azizwe encishwe amathuba futhi kwandise amathuba okuthi ukusebenzelana kube yingozi kakhulu futhi kube nodlame. Ngakho, inzuzo eyinhloko yodlame iwukuthola ukubusa phezu komunye umuntu, futhi amathuba okuphela kokuhwebelana okunodlame anda lapho izindleko zokuziphatha okunobudlova zidlula izinzuzo ezizikhiqizayo.
Indlela Yokuziphatha Ngokwengqondo
Igxile ekuchazeni udlame ebudlelwaneni ukuqonda kanye nezinqubo zokuqonda, okugqamisa ukuthi abantu bafuna ukungaguquguquki phakathi kwemicabango yabo naphakathi kwabo nokuziphatha kwabo . Ukuba khona kokuhlanekezela kwengqondo noma ukungezwani phakathi kwabo kuzoveza imizwa engemihle engaholela odlameni.
Kodwa-ke, indlela yokuqonda-yokuziphatha igxile kakhulu ekuchazeni ukuhlanekezela kwengqondo okwenzeka kubahlaseli, isibonelo, uma kubhekwa isimo esifanayo lapho umlingani engekho khona, umhlukumezi uzobonisa ukuthambekela okukhulu kokucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakhe akazange alinde wena ekhaya ukuze akuhluphe noma njengendlela yokungahloniphi, okuzokwenza ukuthi lo muntu acabange ukuthi umlingani wabo ngeke aveze imizwa engalungile. kuzoba matasa noma ukuzijabulisa futhi lokhu kuzoveza imizwa eyakhayo futhi uzojabula ngakho.
Imodeli Yemvelo
Iphakanyiswe ngu-Urie Bronfenbrenner (1987) futhi yashintshwa nguWhite (2009) ukuchaza udlame ebudlelwaneni, ekubeni imodeli yezenhlalo nemvelo . Ichaza udlame ebudlelwaneni obusemazingeni amane, ukusuka kwejwayelekile kuya kwelibambekayo kakhulu: kwezenhlalo, umphakathi, phakathi kwabantu kanye nomuntu ngamunye. Kulelo nalelo zinga, kunezici ezandisa noma ezinciphisa ingozi yodlame noma ukuhlukunyezwa .
Ngakho-ke, ukuziphatha okunobudlova ebudlelwaneni kuzobekwa kule modeli ezingeni lomuntu ngamunye futhi kungathuthuka ngenxa yethonya langaphambili lamanye amazinga. Leli thonya lamazinga ahlukahlukene lisukela embonweni wendabuko wokuhlukaniswa kwamandla emphakathini okuvuna amadoda, njengakuTheory of Feminist.
Iphakamisa lokho ukuziphatha okunodlame kwabashadile kuthonywa izinkolelo ezingeni lenhlalo (isb., ukusatshalaliswa kwemisebenzi phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane, ukuhlukaniswa kwamandla ngokocansi), ezingeni lomphakathi (njengokuhlanganiswa kobudlelwane bomphakathi obuhlukene ngokobulili ezikoleni, endaweni yomsebenzi, ezikhungweni zokuxhumana, njll.), ezingeni lokusebenzisana kwabantu (njengezinkolelo zabo bobabili abalingani mayelana nokuthi ubudlelwano kufanele bube njani), futhi nasezingeni lomuntu ngamunye (isb., "akuphangeni ukuthi ubudlelwano buyini").' Ukuziphatha okungahlangabezani nalokhu okucatshangwayo okulindelwe ngokobulili kuzokhulisa amathuba okuba nodlame futhi kuzosebenzisa lezi zinkolelo ukuze kuthethelelwe ukusetshenziswa kodlame.
Iziphetho
Njengamanje, kunemibono eminingana noma imibono, kube khona inqubekelaphambili yesayensi kulo mkhakha futhi ucwaningo olusha lube nentshisekelo yokuchaza udlame ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwentsha, ukubuyekezwa kwethiyori yendabuko kanye naleyo egxile kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lodlame phakathi kwabantu.
Nokho, naphezu kwentuthuko yakamuva yesayensi kule ndawo, kusekuningi okungaziwa okumele kuxazululwe okusivumela ukuthi sazi izici ngazinye kanye nezifundo zobudlelwano ngomsuka, izimbangela, kanye nokuqhubeka kodlame lokuthandana. Le nqubekelaphambili ingasiza intsha ukuthi ibone ukuthi ingabe ibhekene nodlame lozakwethu noma iluvimbele, futhi ihlonze izici ezingabangela udlame olusekelwe ebulilini emibhangqwaneni yabantu abadala futhi iqale izinyathelo zokuvimbela ebusheni.
Izinkomba ze-Bibliographic:
- Fernández-Fuertes, AA (2011). Ukuvimbela ukuziphatha okunolaka emibhangqwaneni emisha. Ku-RJ Carcedo, & V. Guijo, Udlame entsheni kanye nabashadikazi abasebasha: indlela yokuqonda nokuvimbela. (amakhasi 87-99). Salamanca: Amarú Editions.
- Gelles, RJ (2004). Izici zomphakathi. Ku-J. Sanmartín, (Eds.), I-Labyrinth of Violence. Izimbangela, izinhlobo kanye nemiphumela. (amakhasi 47-56). Barcelona: Ariel.
- RC Shorey, GL Stuart, TL Cornelius (2011) Udlame lokuqomisana nokusebenzisa izidakamizwa kubafundi basekolishi: Ukubuyekezwa kwezincwadi. Ukuziphatha Okunolaka Nobudlova, 16 (2011), amakhasi 541–550 http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.avb.2011.08.003
- Smith, P. H., White, J. W., & Moracco, K. E. (2009). Ukuba yilokho esiyikho: Incazelo engokomcabango yezinhlaka zomphakathi ezinobulili kanye namanethiwekhi omphakathi abumba ulaka lwabantu abasha. IPsychology Yabesifazane Ngekota, 33 (1), 25-29.
- Walker, L. (1989). IPsychology nodlame olubhekiswe kwabesifazane. I-American Journal of Psychological Association, 44 (4), 695-702.
- Wekerle, C., & Wolfe, D.A. (1998). Iqhaza lokuphathwa kabi kwezingane kanye nesitayela sokunamathela kubudlova obuhlobene nentsha. Ukuthuthukiswa kanye Psychopathology, 10, 571-586.