"Umhlahlandlela Wabazali Wemfundo Yasekhaya: Incwadi Ebalulekile" iwumsebenzi obalulekile walabo abafuna ukufundisa izingane zabo ekhaya ngokuphumelelayo nangokuphepha. Lo mhlahlandlela obhalwe ochwepheshe bezemfundo nokukhulisa izingane, unikeza amathiphu asebenzayo, izeluleko eziwusizo, namasu aqinisekisiwe okubhekana nezinselele nobunzima obuvela lapho kufundwa isikole. Ngolwazi oluningiliziwe mayelana nendlela yokudala indawo efanelekile yokufunda, ukusungula imizila ephumelelayo, nokukhuthaza ukukhula kwezingane okunempilo, le ncwadi iyithuluzi elibalulekile labazali abafuna isiqondiso nokusekelwa ohambweni lwabo lokufunda ekhaya.
Indlela yokukhulisa izingane ngendlela efanele?
Kubazali abaningi, ukukhulisa izingane zabo ngendlela efanele kungaba inselele. Njengoba ulwazi nemibono eminingi itholakala, kungase kube nzima ukwazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi. Nokho, incwadi ethi “A Guide for Parents in Distress” ingaba ithuluzi eliwusizo ekusizeni abazali bakhulise izingane zabo ngokuphumelelayo.
Le ncwadi inikeza isiqondiso esisebenzayo nezeluleko zokuthi ungabeka kanjani imingcele, ukhuthaze ukuzethemba, nokubhekana nezinselele ezivamile zobuntwana. Iphinde ibhekane nezindaba ezibalulekile njengokubaluleka kokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile nokuhloniphana ebudlelwaneni bomzali nengane.
Omunye wemiyalezo eyinhloko yale ncwadi ukubaluleka kokumisa imithetho ecacile nengaguquguquki . Lokhu kusiza izingane zazi ukuthi yini elindeleke kuzo futhi kunikeza isakhiwo esidingekayo ukuze zikhule kahle. Ngaphezu kwalokho, le ncwadi igcizelela ukubaluleka kokufundisa izindinganiso ezifana nenhlonipho , umthwalo wemfanelo , kanye nozwela kusukela zisencane.
Elinye iphuzu elibalulekile okukhulunywa ngalo encwadini yisidingo sokusungula isimiso esinempilo sezingane. Lokhu kuhlanganisa izikhathi ezivamile zokulala, ukudla, nokudlala, okusiza ekuthuthukiseni inhlalakahle engokomzimba nengokomzwelo yezingane ezincane.
Ngokulandela ukusikisela okukule ncwadi, abazali bangakha indawo enempilo nenothando yezingane zabo, bathuthukise ukukhula nenjabulo yazo.
Umhlahlandlela osebenzayo wokukhulisa izingane zakho ngamathiphu namasu asebenzayo.
Incwadi ethi “A Guide for Parents in Distress” iyinsiza ebalulekile yabazali abafuna ukufundisa izingane zabo ngokuphumelelayo. Ngamathiphu namasu asebenzayo, abafundi bazothola isiqondiso esibalulekile sokuzulazula ezinseleleni zokufunda ekhaya.
Elinye lamathiphu ayinhloko encwadini ukumisa imingcele ecacile nengaguquguquki ezinganeni. Ukudala imithetho nemiphumela yokuziphatha okubi kusiza ekugcineni isiyalo futhi kukhuthaze indawo yasekhaya enempilo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukukhuthaza ukukhulumisana okuvulekile nokuqotho nezingane. Ukulalela ukukhathazeka nemibono yazo kusiza ukuqinisa izibopho zomndeni nokwakha ubuhlobo bokwethembana.
Le ncwadi igcizelela nokubaluleka kokuncoma nokuvuza ukuziphatha okuhle kwezingane. Ukuqaphela impumelelo nemizamo yazo kukhuthaza ukuzethemba kanye nokuthuthukiswa kwamakhono amahle.
Ngokulandela iziqondiso zale ncwadi, abazali bayokwazi ukubhekana nezinselele zokufunda ekhaya ngokuphumelelayo nangokwakhayo.
Indlela yokufundisa ngempumelelo nokunakekela ukuthuthukiswa kwengane ekhaya?
Ukufundisa nokunakekela ukuthuthukiswa kwengane ekhaya kungaba inselele, kodwa futhi kuvuze kakhulu. Ngencwadi ethi “Umhlahlandlela Wabazali Abacindezelekile,” abazali bangathola isiqondiso namacebiso awusizo angabasiza kulolu hambo olubalulekile.
Ukuze uqale, kubalulekile ukwakha indawo ephephile nejabulisayo yengane yakho. Lokhu kuhlanganisa nokuqinisekisa ukuthi indawo ayinazo izingozi, njengezinto ezincane ezingagwinywa, nokuhlinzeka ngamathoyizi nemisebenzi yokufundisa ekhuthaza ukukhula kwengqondo nokunyakaza kwengane.
Ukwengeza, kubalulekile ukusungula isimiso esingaguquki, nezikhathi ezimisiwe zokudla, ukulala, isikhathi sokudlala, kanye nemisebenzi yokufundisa. Lokhu kusiza izingane zizizwe zivikelekile futhi zibikezelwa, kube nengxenye ekukhuleni kwazo ngokomzwelo nezenhlalo.
Esinye isici esiyisisekelo ukuxhumana nengane. Xhumana nayo, khuluma nayo, lalela izindaba zayo, bese uphendula imibuzo yayo. Lokhu kusiza ekuthuthukiseni ulimi lwayo, ikhono layo lokuziveza, kanye nokuzihlonipha kwayo.
Incwadi ethi "Umhlahlandlela Wabazali Abasengozini" iphinde inikeze isiqondiso sendlela yokubhekana nezinselele ezivamile ekukhuliseni izingane , njengokucasuka, ubunzima bokufunda, nezinkinga zokuziphatha. Abazali bangathola amasu asebenzayo okusingatha lezi zimo ngendlela eyakhayo neyakhayo.
Ngokusekela kwencwadi ethi “Umhlahlandlela Wabazali Abacindezelekile,” abazali bangazizwa beqiniseka ngokwengeziwe futhi bewulungiselele lo msebenzi obalulekile.
Amasu okukhulisa izingane ezikhathini zamanje: amathiphu abalulekile kubazali.
Ezweni lanamuhla, ukukhulisa izingane sekuwumsebenzi onzima kakhulu kubazali. Ngethonya lobuchwepheshe, inkundla yezokuxhumana, kanye nokuhwebelana kwembulunga yonke, kubalulekile ukuthi abazali basebenzise amasu asebenzayo okuqinisekisa ukukhula okunempilo nokunokulinganisela kwezingane nentsha.
Esinye sezeluleko ezibaluleke kakhulu kubazali ukumisa imingcele ecacile nengaguquguquki. Ukuntuleka kwemithetho kanye nesiyalo kungalimaza ukuziphatha kwezingane, kuzenze zisheshe futhi zingalaleli. Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukuthi abazali bachaze imithetho yokuhlala ndawonye ekhaya futhi bayiqinisekise njalo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukukhuthaza ukukhulumisana okuvulekile kanye nengxoxo phakathi kwabazali nezingane. Ubudlelwano obusekelwe ekwethembaneni nasekuhlonipheni kusiza ekuxazululeni izingxabano futhi buqinise izibopho zomndeni. Abazali kufanele babe khona empilweni yezingane zabo, balalele ukukhathazeka kwazo, babelane ngolwazi, futhi banikeze ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo.
Elinye isu elibalulekile ukukhuthaza ukuthuthukiswa kokuzimela kanye nomthwalo wemfanelo ezinganeni. Esikhundleni sokuzenzela konke, abazali kufanele babakhuthaze ukuba baxazulule izinkinga, benze izinqumo, futhi bathathe umthwalo wemfanelo ngemiphumela yezenzo zabo. Lokhu kunegalelo ekwakhiweni kwabantu abazimele nabazethembayo.
Okokugcina, abazali kufanele babeke phambili ikhwalithi yesikhathi esichithwa nezingane zabo. Phakathi kokuxakeka nokuphila kwansuku zonke, kubalulekile ukubekela eceleni isikhathi sokudlala, sokuxoxa, sokufunda ndawonye, kanye nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini yomndeni. Lokhu kuxhumana ngokomzwelo kuqinisa izibopho futhi kunegalelo enhlalakahleni engokomzwelo yezingane.
Ngokulandela la masu namathiphu abalulekile, ungakha isimo somndeni esinempilo esivumela ukukhula nokuthuthuka kwezingane kanye nentsha.
Umhlahlandlela Wabazali Abasosizini: Incwadi Ebalulekile Yemfundo Yasekhaya
UMiguel Angel Rizaldos Lamoca usechithe cishe iminyaka engamashumi amathathu esebenza emkhakheni wezokwelapha ngokwengqondo futhi esiza abazali ukuthuthukisa ikhwalithi yokuphila kwezingane zabo. Kodwa lesi sazi sengqondo sezokwelapha, esise-Aranjuez, asigcini nje ngokubona imindeni; sisebenza njengomuntu onolwazi, sichaza ngokucacile nangokulula lokho isayensi yokuziphatha kwabantu esitshela khona.
Muva nje, uMiguel Ángel Rizaldos ushicilele incwadi yakhe ethi, "Guide for Parents in Danger ," umsebenzi afuna kuwo ukwazisa abazali nabafundisi ngazo zonke izihluthulelo zempilo yengqondo yezingane, izidingo zabo zokufunda, nokuthi kungenzeka kanjani ukukhulisa izingane zabo ngempumelelo ngaphandle kokuzilimaza.
Umhlahlandlela wabazali abasosizini , nguMiguel Ángel Rizaldos: izihluthulelo zokukhulisa nokufundisa
Sikhulume noMiguel Ángel Rizaldos ukuze sichaze imiqondo eyinhloko yokusungulwa kwale ncwadi ethakazelisayo.
Wavela kanjani umqondo wokubhala? isiqondiso komama nobaba abanezinkinga ?
Bengilokhu ngibhala ibhulogi yami kusukela ngo-2011. Kunezihloko ezikhuluma ngeziqondiso zokukhulisa izingane, futhi lezi zihloko bezilokhu zisebenza njengokuqinisa lokho engisebenza kukho ngokubonisana nabazali nezingane.
Ngakho-ke, bengifuna ukuqhubeka nalo msebenzi, futhi le ncwadi ihloselwe ukuba umhlahlandlela wabazali nothisha ukuze bathole izindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokukhulisa izingane zethu. Konke lokhu kwenziwa ngolimi olulula, olulula nolusebenzayo. Iminyaka engu-28 yokuhlangenwe nakho kwami njengochwepheshe bengqondo kanye ne-16 njengomzali ihlanganiswe kule ncwadi.
Ngihlanganisa zonke izici ezingase zibe nentshisekelo kubazali, kanye nalezo ezikhuluma kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, izihloko engizihlanganisayo zibalulekile futhi ziyisisekelo njengokunamathiselwe, isibopho, isidingo sokubeka imingcele, ukukhulumisana komzali nengane, ukwesaba, ukulawula imizwelo, amakhono okuxhumana nabantu nokugomela, ubuxhwanguxhwangu, ukucasuka, ukuzethemba kwengane, indlela yokuphatha ukucindezeleka nokukhathazeka, ubusha, isehlukaniso, i-ADHD nomsebenzi wesikole, kanye nokubhekana nobuchwepheshe obusha kanye nama-smartphones afana namaphilisi okuxhumana nabantu, i-inthanethi kanye nezokuxhumana.
Ekupheleni kwencwadi, ngishiya izahluko ezimbalwa ezigxile ekuzinakekeleni kwabazali, nginikeza amathuluzi ayisisekelo okudingeka babe nawo futhi bawasebenzise ukuze bazizwe bejabule futhi benakekelwa. Ngamafuphi, sikhuluma ngalokho esikwenzayo, hhayi esikushoyo ukuthi sikwenze. Uma ungazinakekeli njengomzali noma uthisha, ngeke ube nandaba kangako.
Ezingxenyeni ezimbalwa zencwadi, ubhekisela ekubalulekeni kokuqinisa ukuzethemba kwezingane. Imaphi amaphutha avamile ocabanga ukuthi abazali abavame ukuwenza lapho bezama ukunikeza izingane zabo isithombe esihle?
Ngicabanga ukuthi inkinga enkulu namuhla ukuthi abazali bavikela izingane zethu ngokweqile. Lokhu kusho ukuthi asikwakhi ukubethemba ngoba asikhombisi ukuzethemba ekutheni sikwazi ukuthwala umthwalo. Lokhu kudala ukuthi izingane zingazethembi, njengoba zingazethembi ngoba abazali bazo abazithembi.
Ngakho-ke, ngikholelwa ukuthi ukuba nesimo sengqondo esihle kuncike ekukwazini ukubhekana nezimo, futhi akubona abazali abazixazululayo. Ukuzimisela ukubhekana nobunzima kukhulisa ukuzicabangela, futhi lokhu kukhulisa ukuzethemba.
Uphinde ukhulume ngokuthi uyinkinga kangakanani umkhuba omdala wokwenza imisebenzi eyisibopho ngokuhlelekile njengomsebenzi wasekhaya ngesikhathi samaholide esikole. Ingabe unomuzwa wokuthi ukwenza izingane zisebenze kanzima ukuze zifunde okuthile okufanele kuhlale kuyinto enhle?
Kusuka kungqondongqondo, siyazi ukuthi ukufunda kuwukuhlangenwe nakho, hhayi ulwazi. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukufunda akukhona nje ukuthola ulwazi; kumayelana nokuzwa lokho okufundayo.
Ezikhathini eziningi, kudinga amandla nomzamo ukuze ufunde. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, siyazi ukuthi izingane kanye nabantu abadala bafunda kalula futhi ngokushesha okukhulu lapho sizizwa siphilile ngokomzwelo futhi sizijabulisa. Ngakho-ke, kunendlela yokufunda ebizwa ngokuthi "i-gamification," ehlanganisa ukufunda ngokudlala; ngale nqubo, kufinyelelwa imiphumela engcono.
Esinye isici okuxoxwe ngaso kule ncwadi ukubaluleka kokuthuthukisa amakhono ezingane emphakathini, futhi ngaleyo ndlela sinikeza iseluleko sendlela yokufundisa izingane ezincane kulezi zinhlobo zemincintiswano. Ucabanga ukuthi izingxabano eziningi phakathi kwabazali nezingane zibangelwa ukuntula ukukhulumisana okubangelwa ukuhluleka ukulandela lolu hlobo lwemfundo?
Ngikholelwa ukuthi amakhono okuxhumana nabantu ayizimfuneko eziyisisekelo zobudlelwano obungcono nabanye. Zibaluleke kakhulu enhlalakahleni yethu kangangokuthi kufanele zigxiliswe ezinganeni zethu kusukela zisencane.
Ngeshwa, kukhona ukuntuleka kwesiko noma ulwazi lwalobu budlelwano obuyisisekelo namakhono okuxhumana. Lokhu kushoda kuholela ezinkingeni eziningi ebudlelwaneni nabanye, futhi ngenxa yalokho naphakathi kwabazali nezingane.
Siyazi ngokusuka kwengqondo ukuthi ukungakwazi ukusebenza komphakathi kubangela ukuthi abantu baziqhelelanise nenhlalakahle. Abazali, omama nabafundisi bayisibonelo, futhi siyakudlulisa esikwenzayo. Ngakho-ke, uma sinamakhono okuxhumana nabantu, sizodlulisela lawo makhono ezinganeni zethu.
Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bakhuluma ngokuthi izingane zithambekele kangakanani kuma-lollipop, kodwa kuyiqiniso futhi ukuthi ngezinye izikhathi zingaba nenkinga yokuveza ezikucabangayo nezizizwayo. Ngakho-ke, esahlukweni esisodwa sencwadi, ukhuluma ngokufundisa amadodana namadodakazi ukuba athathe indlela yokuxhumana eqinile. Uma kuziwa ekukhuliseni izingane eminyakeni yazo yobuntwana, singazisiza kanjani izingane ukuba zifinyelele ibhalansi ngaphandle kokuwela esimweni sengqondo esingenangqondo noma ukucindezela yonke into ezibhekana nayo?
Ngokusobala, ayikho indlela eqondile noma yomlingo yokuthola okufunayo phambi kwabanye. Ukugomela okukhulunywe ngakho ngenhla kuyikhono lezenhlalo eliyinkimbinkimbi, kodwa ukusetshenziswa kwalo kuqinisekisa ukuthi sifinyelela ukulingana okungcono phakathi kokuthola esikufunayo nokuhlonipha amalungelo abanye.
Ngokuyisisekelo, nokuqonda omunye nomunye, ukuziphatha okugomelayo kuqukethe izakhi ezintathu: ukuzwelana nomunye, ukwenza omunye azwelane nathi, futhi ekugcineni, uthole esinye isixazululo esivumelanayo, lapho wonke umuntu ewina futhi wonke umuntu alahlekelwe.
Encwadini, unikezela izahluko zokugcina ekunikezeni iseluleko kubazali mayelana nendlela yokunakekela inhlalakahle yabo engokwengqondo. Ucabanga ukuthi sithambekele ekucabangeni ukuthi abazali kufanele babhekane nakho konke ukucindezeleka okuhilelekile ekukhuliseni izingane ngaphandle kokuzinika isikhathi sokunakekela impilo yabo siqu?
Yebo, kuyiqiniso. Kuvame kakhulu ekwenzeni kwami ukuthola abazali abakhohlwa izidingo zabo kanye nezithakazelo zabo futhi bagxile ezinganeni zabo kuphela. Lokhu akuzuzisi ngemfundo yezingane zabo, ngoba, njengoba ngike ngasho ngaphambili, abantu abangazinakekeli bona abanandaba kahle.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngiyaphinda futhi ukuthi siyakudlulisa esikwenzayo; uma thina njengabazali singazinakekeli izingane zethu ngeke zikwazi ukuzinakekela kusasa. Ngakho-ke, ngitusa ukuba abazali bazinakekele, njengoba benakekela labo ababathanda kakhulu.
Ukuba umzali akusho ukuyeka izidingo noma izithakazelo zakho. Ukunakekela izidingo nezithakazelo zakho njengomzali akufanele kubhekwe njengobugovu; kufanele kubhekwe njengempilo kuwe nakubantwana bakho.
Kwesinye isikhathi, indima yokuba umzali kanye nemfundo idinga ukwesekwa ngale kwendawo yesikole. Yiziphi izimpawu zokuthi kungaba wumqondo omuhle ukuyisa indodana noma indodakazi kudokotela wezengqondo?
Ngihlale ngigcizelela kubo bobabili abadala kanye nezingane kanye nentsha ukuthi ukubona isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, akudingekile ukuba ube nephutha, kodwa kufanele ufune ukuthuthukisa. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo azisebenzi nje kuphela nabantu abanezinkinga ze-psychopathological, kodwa futhi singenelela lapho kungekho pathology yengqondo. Badinga amasu namathuluzi esiwazi kusayikholoji enza ukuphila kahle futhi asisize sibhekane kangcono nokungakhululeki.
Izingane azivamisile ukuveza ukungakhululeki kwazo. Bazizwa sengathi banephutha futhi abazi ukuthi kwenzekani kubo, ngakho abazali kudingeka bakwazi ukubona izimpawu zokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle.
Lezi "inkomba" ngokuvamile ziyizinguquko ekuziphatheni kwazo kwansuku zonke. Uma siqaphela ukuthi ingane yethu ithwele kanzima, iyahlupheka, ayijabule, futhi ayikujabuleli ukuphila kwayo kwansuku zonke, ngisho noma ingafuni ukuphuma endlini noma ukuba phakathi kwabanye abantu, kungcono ukucela usizo ngokushesha. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula ukuqala ukubahlinzeka ngamathuluzi okuphatha kangcono ukungaphatheki kahle kwabo.