Usizi lokubeletha luyisihloko esibucayi nesibuhlungu esikhuluma ngokushonelwa yingane ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa, sokubeletha, noma ezinyangeni zokuqala zokuphila. Kuyisenzakalo esidabukisayo kubazali nemindeni ebhekene naleli qiniso, futhi ngokuvamile bazizwa bebodwa futhi bengenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi bangabhekana kanjani nobuhlungu nokuhlupheka. Kulo mongo, kubalulekile ukunikeza ukusekela nesiqondiso ukuze usize abazali banqobe lokhu kulahlekelwa futhi bathole izindlela ezinempilo zokubhekana nosizi. Le ncwadi ikhuluma ngokuqondile ngalesi sihloko, inikeza ulwazi, ukucabanga, namasu okusiza abazali kule nqubo yokunqoba kanye nokubhekana nokulahlekelwa yingane.
Indlela yokubhekana nobuhlungu bokulahlekelwa ingane encane?
Ukubhekana nokulahlekelwa ingane encane kungenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu umzali angabhekana nazo. Usizi olusesiswini—ukulahlekelwa umntwana ngaphambi, phakathi, noma ngemva nje kokuzalwa—kuletha ubuhlungu obungacabangeki nomuzwa wobuze obonakala ungenakunqotshwa. Nokho, kungenzeka ukuthola izindlela zokubhekana nalobu buhlungu futhi uqhubekele phambili, ngisho noma kubonakala kungenakwenzeka ngaleso sikhathi.
Enye yezinto zokuqala okufanele uzenze lapho ubhekene nokulahlekelwa ingane encane ukuzivumela ukuthi uzizwe usizi nosizi. Kubalulekile ukuzivumela ukuthi ukhale , uveze imizwa yakho, futhi ungacindezeli lokho okuzwayo. Usizi luyinqubo yemvelo nenempilo, futhi kubalulekile ukuzivumela ukuthi uluzwe ngokugcwele.
Ukwengeza, ukufuna ukwesekwa kubalulekile. Ukukhuluma nodokotela wezengqondo, ukubamba iqhaza emaqenjini okusekela, noma ukwabelana ngobuhlungu bakho nabangani nomndeni kungasiza ekwehliseni omunye umthwalo owuthwele. Ungesabi ukucela usizo futhi uncike kubantu abaseduze nawe.
Elinye isu elibalulekile lokubhekana nobuhlungu bokulahlekelwa ingane encane ukuzinakekela. Ukuzibandakanya emisebenzini ekulethela induduzo nokuthula, njengokuzindla, ukuvivinya umzimba, noma izinto zokuzilibazisa ezikulethela injabulo, kungasiza ekuphazamiseni ingqondo yakho futhi kunciphise ubuhlungu obuthile obuzwayo.
Okokugcina, khumbula ukuthi isikhathi singumngane enqubweni yokuphulukisa. Ubuhlungu bokushonelwa ingane encane abupheli ngokuphazima kweso, kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi buyabekezeleleka, futhi uthola izindlela zokubhekana nakho. Yiba nomusa kuwe futhi uzivumele ukuba udlule kule nqubo yokudabuka, wethemba ukuthi, kancane kancane, uzokwazi ukunqoba lokhu kulahlekelwa futhi uthole incazelo entsha empilweni yakho.
Indlela yokubhekana nosizi ngemva kokulahlekelwa umntwana oshonile.
Ukulahlekelwa ingane ezelwe isishonile kungenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu umbhangqwana ongabhekana nazo. Ubuhlungu bokulahlekelwa, obuhlanganiswe nokukhungatheka nomuzwa wobuze, bungabonakala bungenakubekezelelwa. Kodwa-ke, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi kungenzeka ukunqoba usizi lokubeletha futhi uthole indlela yokwelapha.
Esinye sezinyathelo zokuqala zokubhekana nosizi ngemva kokulahlekelwa umntwana ozelwe eseshonile ukuzivumela ukuthi uzizwe yonke imizwa ephakamayo. Kuvamile ukuzizwa udabuke, uthukuthele, unecala, ngisho nokukhululeka okuthile. Ukwamukela le mizwa nokuzivumela ukuthi uyizwe kubalulekile ekuqaleni inqubo yokuphulukiswa.
Ukufuna ukwesekwa kungenye ingxenye ebalulekile yenqubo yokubhekana nosizi oluhambisana nokubeletha. Ukukhuluma nodokotela wezokwelapha, ukubamba iqhaza emaqenjini okusekela, noma ukumane wabelane ngosizi lwakho nomndeni nabangane kungasiza ekunciphiseni umthwalo ongokomzwelo wokulahlekelwa. Ukukhuluma ngokwenzekile nokuveza imizwa yakho kungaba yindlela yokwelapha.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukuzinakekela phakathi nalesi sikhathi esinzima. Ukuzijwayeza ukuvivinya umzimba, ukugcina ukudla okunempilo, kanye nokunikela ngesikhathi emisebenzini eletha induduzo nokuphumula kungasiza ekuqiniseni umzimba nengqondo ngesikhathi sosizi lokubeletha.
Khumbula ukuthi inqubo yokwelapha iyingqayizivele kumuntu ngamunye, futhi asikho isikhathi esinqunyiwe sokunqoba ukulahlekelwa yingane eshonile. Zinike isikhathi osidingayo sokudabuka futhi ufune usizo noma nini lapho uludinga. Ngokusekelwa okufanele nokuzinakekela, kungenzeka ukuthola indlela eya ekwelapheni nethemba ngekusasa.
Izindlela zokubhekana nosizi ngenxa yokushonelwa umntwana othandekayo.
Ukudabuka ngokushonelwa umntwana othandekayo kuwukuhlangenwe nakho okudabukisayo nokubuhlungu kubazali namalungu omkhaya. Ukubhekana nalokhu kulahlekelwa kungase kube inselele kakhulu, kodwa zikhona izindlela zokubhekana nalesi sikhathi esinzima futhi unqobe ubuhlungu.
Enye indlela yokubhekana nosizi ngokulahlekelwa umntwana ukuzivumela ukuthi uzizwe yonke imizwa ephakamayo. Kuvamile ukuzizwa udangele, uthukuthele, unecala, ngisho nokukhululeka. Ukwamukela le mizwa nokuzivumela ukuthi uyizwe kubalulekile enkambisweni yokuphulukiswa.
Enye indlela yokubhekana nosizi ukufuna ukwesekwa ngokomzwelo. Ukukhuluma nabangani, umndeni, noma ukuhlanganyela emaqenjini okusekela kungakusiza ukuthi wabelane ngobuhlungu bakho futhi uthole induduzo. Ukufuna usizo kuchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo nakho kungaba yinzuzo ekubhekaneni nosizi ngendlela enempilo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuhlonipha inkumbulo yomntwana kungaba indlela eduduzayo yokubhekana nosizi. Ukudala isikhumbuzo, ukutshala isihlahla ngokuhlonishwa kwabo, noma ukuhlanganyela emsebenzini othile enkumbulweni yabo kungasiza abazali bathole ukuxhumana nokuthula kwangaphakathi.
Okokugcina, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi inqubo yokulila ihlukile kumuntu ngamunye futhi ayinaso isikhathi esibekiwe. Ukuzivumela ukuthi uzwe usizi ngempela nokuhlonipha isikhathi sakho kubalulekile ekunqobeni ukulahlekelwa umntwana othandekayo.
Kafushane, ukubhekana nosizi lokulahlekelwa umntwana kudinga isikhathi, isineke, nokuzinakekela. Ukuzivumela ukuthi uzwe imizwa yakho, ukufuna ukusekelwa, ukuhlonipha inkumbulo yengane yakho, nokuhlonipha inqubo yakho yokuphulukisa kuyizindlela ezibalulekile zokubhekana nalesi sikhathi esinzima futhi uthole induduzo nokuthula kwangaphakathi.
Ukusiza umuntu ososizini lokushona kwengane.
Ukulahlekelwa ingane kungenye yezinhlungu ezinkulu umuntu angabhekana nazo. Ukudabukisa ukushona kwengane, ikakhulukazi phakathi nokukhulelwa noma ngemva nje kokuzalwa, kuyisimo esibucayi kakhulu esidinga ukwesekwa nokuqonda okuvela kulabo abaseduze nawe. Uma wazi othile obhekene nalesi simo, kubalulekile ukuba khona futhi unikeze ukusekela ngokomzwelo.
Okokuqala nokubaluleke kakhulu, kubalulekile ukulalela umuntu oshonelwe. Mvumele aveze imizwa yakhe, ubuhlungu bakhe kanye nosizi lwakhe. Ungazami ukunciphisa ubuhlungu noma ukuthola izizathu zokulahlekelwa; mane nje ube khona ukuze ulalele futhi unikeze ukwesekwa. Ukubonisa uzwela nobubele kubalulekile ekusizeni umuntu ososizini lokushonelwa ingane.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, kubalulekile ukunikeza usizo olungokoqobo kumuntu oshonelwe. Buza ukuthi kukhona yini ongakwenza ukuze umsize, njengokunakekela imisebenzi yansuku zonke, ukulungiselela ukudla, noma ukuba lapho ukuze umgone noma ukhale. Izenzo ezincane zobumbano zingenza umehluko omkhulu phakathi nesikhathi esinzima kangaka.
Khumbula ukuthi umuntu ngamunye uzwa usizi ngendlela ehlukile nokuthi asikho isikhathi esibekiwe sokunqoba ukulahlekelwa yingane. Hlonipha isikhathi nendawo yomuntu oshonelwe, umvumele ukuba azwe imizwa yakhe futhi athole indlela yakhe yokuphulukiswa . Yiba khona ukuze unikeze ukwesekwa okuqhubekayo, ngisho nangemva kwesikhathi esinzima kakhulu sosizi.
Ngamafuphi, ukusiza othile ososizini lokushonelwa kudinga ukuzwela, ukubekezela nothando. Yiba khona, ulalele, unikeze ukusekela okungokoqobo nokungokomzwelo, futhi uhloniphe inqubo yokuphulukiswa komuntu ososizini. Ngozwelo nozwela, kuyenzeka ukusiza ukunqoba lobu buhlungu obukhulu futhi uthole indlela eya ethembeni nasekwenzeni kabusha.
Usizi Lokubeletha: Ungakunqoba Kanjani Ukulahlekelwa Kwengane
Usizi lokubeletha luyinqubo abantu abadlula kuyo ngemva kokulahlekelwa umntwana ongakazalwa futhi ngokuvamile umphakathi awuyiqapheli. Uma kwenzeka into efana nale, uzwa ubuhlungu obubuhlungu, impilo yakho ilahlekelwa yinjongo, izinhlelo zakho ziyaphazamiseka, futhi akukho okunye okubalulekile.
Akusekho ukuxhamazela, ayisekho imisebenzi esalindile, ayisekho imibiko ephuthumayo yomsebenzi. Umhlaba wakho umile ngenxa yokushonelwa othandiweyo wakho.
Manje cabanga isikhashana mayelana nokulahlekelwa okukhulu kakhulu kwempilo yakho, ubuhlungu obuzwile, ukuthi umhlaba wakho wahlakazeka kanjani, isikhathi owasithatha ukuze udlule kukho… bese uzibuza: bekungaba njani lo mzuzu uma kungekho muntu ovumile ukuthi ngilahlekelwe?
Ukulahlekelwa kwengane kungenzeka ngezindlela eziningana:
- Ukuphuphunyelwa yisisu.
- Ukukhipha isisu ngokuzithandela.
- Ngokukhishwa kwesisu ngokuzithandela ngenxa yokukhubazeka kwengane.
- Ukukhipha isisu ngokuzithandela ngoba impilo kamama isengozini.
- Ngenxa yokwehliswa okukhethekile kwabesifazane abakhulelwe (uma kwenzeka amawele, amawele amathathu…), ngoba enye yezingane inenkinga/ukukhubazeka noma nganoma yisiphi esinye isizathu.
- Ngezinkinga ngesikhathi sokubeletha.
- Njalo njalo
Nakuba kuso sonke lesi sihloko sixoxa ngosizi lokulahlekelwa yizingane ezingakazalwa, usizi lokubeletha luhlanganisa ukulahlekelwa okutholwa kusukela ekukhulelwe kuze kube yilapho umntwana enezinyanga eziyisithupha ubudala.
Uma sifunda ngobuhlungu be-perinatal, singathola abalobi abasungula ezinye izigaba (isibonelo, kusukela emasontweni angu-22 okukhulelwa kuya enyangeni eyodwa, izinyanga eziyisithupha, njll.). Kunemibono eminingi ngalesi sihloko.
Kumelwe ngigcizelele ukuthi ubuhlungu obuhlobene nosizi lokubeletha abuhlukile ebuhlungu obuhambisana nokushonelwa okuvamile, nakuba kunomehluko phakathi kwalokhu okubili.
Umehluko phakathi kosizi oluvamile kanye nolwesibeletho
Lapho othandekayo efa, umphakathi ukuqaphela lokhu kulahlekelwa ngezindlela eziningana:
- Ukusivumela ukuthi senze amasiko okulila esibona kufanele (imingcwabo, izixuku, ukungcwaba…).
- Ukushintsha indima yethu: sisuka ebuntwaneni siye entandaneni noma sisuka kumyeni nenkosikazi siye kwabafelokazi.
- Ukuthatha izinsuku ezimbalwa emsebenzini ukuze “ululame.”
- Ukuthola ukwesekwa ngabantu abasizungezile, abasicelayo nabasikhathalelayo.
Kodwa-ke, lapho usizi luyi-perinatal futhi ukulahlekelwa kungokwengane, izinto ziyashintsha:
- Awekho amasiko okuzila amisiwe alolu hlobo lokulahlekelwa, oludida abazali, okudingeka benze isiko elithile kodwa abazi ukuthi bawenze kanjani, nini, noma kuphi.
- Alikho igama ngeSpanishi elichaza indima entsha yabazali abashonelwe ingane.
- Ayikho inketho yokuthatha izinsuku ezimbalwa emsebenzini, kodwa kufanele ujoyine isikhundla sakho ngokushesha ngemva kokulahlekelwa.
- Usekelo olutholiwe luncane kakhulu, njengoba lolu hlobo lokulahlekelwa luvamise ukuba yisihloko esingavumelekile lapho kucelelwa ukusekelwa okuncane noma okungekho nhlobo.
Umphakathi awuboni lolu hlobo lokulahlekelwa, uyaphika, ugcina inkolelo engamanga yokuthi uma okuthile kungaxoxwa ngakho, kuba sengathi akuzange kwenzeke. Lokhu kuphika kwenza isimo sabazali sibe nzima, abasakwazi ukuzisiza bengazi ukuthi benzeni noma benzenjani kulesi simo esibuhlungu kangaka.
Kumele ngigcizelele ukuthi umphakathi awukuphiki ukuthi kukhona ukukhulelwa okungazange kuthele izithelo, kodwa uyaphika ukuthi kukhona ubuhlobo bomphakathi phakathi kwabazali / izihlobo kanye nengane ngakho-ke, uma bungekho ubuhlobo bomphakathi, abukho usizi.
Ukwehluleka ukuvuma ukudabuka ngokushonelwa ingane engakazalwa kubangela uchungechunge lwemiphumela emibi.
Imiphumela yokulahlekelwa kwe-perinatal
- Ukuzihlukanisa emphakathini.
- Ukukhathazeka nokwesaba ukukhulelwa okusha.
- Izinkolelo ezingalungile ngomzimba womuntu siqu nangomzimba ngokwawo (umzimba wami awukwazi ukumitha, umzimba wami awufaneleki, angifaneleki...).
- Zisole.
- Ukucindezeleka .
- Ubunzima bokwenza izinqumo.
- Bathukuthelele abanye (izisebenzi zezokwelapha, uNkulunkulu…).
- Ukuntula ukunakekelwa kwezingane ezisele.
- Ukungabi nentshisekelo emisebenzini yokuphila yansuku zonke.
- Izinkinga zokudla (ungadli noma ungadli kakhulu).
- Izinkinga zobudlelwano (kokubili ezobudlelwano nezocansi).
- Izinkinga ezingokomzimba (ukuqina kwesifuba, ukungabi nalutho esiswini…).
- Inkinga yokulala (ukuqwasha, amaphupho amabi…).
- Imizwa yokungaboni ngaso linye mayelana nokukhulelwa okusha.
- Ukuzizwa uwedwa, ungenalutho.
- Usizi
- Njalo njalo
Le miphumela ayithinti umama kuphela, kodwa futhi ubaba, izingane zakubo, nogogo nomkhulu. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi nabo baba nokukhulelwa futhi, ngakho-ke, balahlekelwa ukulahlekelwa.
Indlela yokusiza ngemva kwe-duel ye-perinatal?
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uchwepheshe noma cha, singakwazi ukusiza abantu abadlula kulesi sikhathi esinzima ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene. Uma ungathanda ukusiza, kufanele:
- Kuvume ukulahlekelwa kwakho, ngaphandle kokuphika nganoma yisiphi isikhathi okwenzekile.
- Bavumele bakhulume nawe ngokwenzekile, bavumele bakhale phambi kwakho, babuze njalo ukuthi bazizwa kanjani...
- Nikeza ukwesekwa kwakho kunoma yini abayidingayo, ngisho noma abakucelayo kubonakala kungenangqondo futhi kungenamsebenzi kuwe.
- Thola izinsiza ozidingayo ukuze uthuthuke (udokotela, udokotela wengqondo, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo…).
- Hlonipha izinqumo zabo, njengokuthi bayazilahla yini izinto zezingane noma cha.
Kufanele futhi ucabangele izici ezimbalwa okufanele uzigweme nokuthi, ngeshwa, sivame ukukwenza:
- Akufanele neze usho imishwana efana nalena: "Ungakhathazeki, uzoba nezingane eziningi." , ngoba kubazali ingane ngayinye ihlukile, ikhethekile futhi ayinakushintshwa.
- Kufanele ugweme imishwana evamile ngaphambi kokulahlekelwa: "Qina", "Usendaweni engcono", "Konke kwenzeka ngesizathu" … Abasizi.
- Ungasho “Ngiyabuqonda ubuhlungu bakho” uma ungakaze udlule kokuthile okufanayo.
- Ungazahluleli izinqumo ezathathwa abazali bakho.
- Ungabheki izici ezinhle zalokho okwenzekile.
Ngeshwa, usizi lokubeletha luyinkinga engaziwa kubantu abaningi, ngakho sinokushoda ekusizeni labo ababhekene nalesi sikhathi esibuhlungu.
Ezimweni eziningi, kungcono ukuhlala nomuntu ososizini, simnikeze uthando nokusekela, kunokukhuluma ngaphandle kokucabanga okuningi futhi kubangele ubuhlungu obuningi.
Ungazisiza kanjani
Uma ubhekene nosizi lokubeletha futhi ungazi ukuthi yini okufanele uyenze, indlela yokwenza, noma indlela yokubhekana nayo yonke imizwa ekuphethe, ungakhathazeki, kujwayelekile ngokuphelele.
Into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukuqonda ukuthi ubhekene nenqubo yokulila, ehilela isikhathi sokucubungula kanye nobuhlungu obuningi obuhambisanayo. Usanda kulahlekelwa othandekayo, futhi kunzima kakhulu.
Nazi izinyathelo ezimbalwa okufanele uzilandele ukuze unqobe usizi:
- Ukuvalelisa enganeni yakho kubalulekile ekudabukeni. Cela abahlengikazi ukuthi balethe ingane yakho kuwe futhi uchithe isikhathi uwedwa nayo.
- Yenza uhlobo oluthile lwesiko lomngcwabo lapho umndeni nezihlobo zingavalelisa kuye.
- Ezinye izibhedlela zikuvumela ukuba wenze isikhunta sezandla noma izinyawo zengane yakho, uthathe izithombe nomntwana wakho, noma ugeze ingane yakho. Le misebenzi iyanconywa noma nini lapho uthanda.
- Khuluma ngokwenzeka nabantu obathandayo. Uma lokho kungenzeki, thola iqembu losekelo lalo msebenzi.
- Ungayigodli imizwa nemizwa yakho, ungayicindezeli; kuyadingeka ukuthi uthuthukise ubuhlungu obuhambisana nokulahlekelwa.
- Thola ukucindezeleka kokubeletha, ulwazi oluthe xaxa onalo, lungcono.
- Kunezinhlangano eziningi zabazali abashonelwe ingane, abathola ulwazi futhi bakhuthaze ukubamba iqhaza.
- Ungajahi ukunqoba usizi, wuhlelo olude.
- Iya kusazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uzokusiza kulezi zikhathi ezinzima.
Ngokuya ngezimo, usizi luzoba nzima kakhulu ukulucubungula. Akufani nokuphuphunyelwa yisisu ukuhlela ukufa kwengane yakho, futhi akufani nokulahlekelwa okukodwa noma ukulahlekelwa okuningi...
Ngokuqondene nobude be-duel, kunzima kakhulu ukubikezela, ngoba okuguquguqukayo okuningi kuthonya: umlando wama-duels wangaphambilini, izici zobuntu, uhlobo lokufa, uhlobo lobuhlobo nomufi ...
Njengoba umbhali uWilliam Worden esho: "ukubuza ukuthi impi iphela nini kufana nokubuza ukuthi ubude bayo bungakanani".
Zonke lezi zincomo zihloselwe ukwamukela ukulahlekelwa kwengane yakho, ngokomqondo nangokomzwelo. Ngiyazi ukuthi kunzima, kodwa kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokuqhubekela phambili nempilo yakho.
" Ubuhlungu bokudabuka buyingxenye yokuphila njengenjabulo yothando; mhlawumbe yintengo esiyikhokhelayo ngothando, izindleko zokuzibophezela." - Colin Murray.
Izinkomba
- Cacciatore, J. Flenady, V. Koopmans, L. Wilson, T. (2013). Ukwesekwa komama, obaba kanye nemindeni ngemuva kokushona kokubeletha. Iqembu I-Cochrane ye Ukukhulelwa e Parto , I-6, i-1-22.
- Davidson, D. (2011). Ukucabanga kokwenza ucwaningo olususelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwami kokulahlekelwa kokubeletha: kusuka ku-auto/biography kuya ku-autoethnography. Ucwaningo lwe-Online Sociological , 16 (1), 6.
- Forhan
, M. (2010). Ukwenza, Ukuba, kanye nokuba khona: Uhambo Lomndeni Owodwa Ngokulahlekelwa Kokubeletha. I-American Journal ye-Occupational Therapy , 64,
142-151.Usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi ngemva kokulahlekelwa kokubeletha - Gausia, K. Moran, A. Ali, M. Ryder, D. Fisher, C. Koblinsky, M. (2011). Imiphumela yengqondo nezenhlalo phakathi komama abahlushwa
ukulahlekelwa kwe-perinatal: umbono ovela ezweni elinemali encane. I-BMC Impilo Yomphakathi , I-11, i-451. - Gaziano C. O'Leary. J. (2011). Usizi lwabazali ngemva kokulahlekelwa kokubeletha. Ijenali Yengqondo Yokubelethwa Neyokubelethwa Nezempilo , I-25 (i-3).
Usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi ngemva kokulahlekelwa kokubeletha - I-Kersing, A. Wagner, B. (2012) Usizi oluyinkimbinkimbi ngemva kokulahlekelwa kokubeletha. Izingxoxo ku-Clinical NeuroSciences , 14 (2), 187-194.
- Whitaker, C. (2010). Usizi lwe-Perinatal kubazali baseLatino. I-American Journal of Maternal/Child Nursing , 35 (6), 341-345.